My Safe Place

Shall we get sunbeds or just camp on the sand with our towels, he asked me as we were making our way to the beach. Sunbeds are more comfortable I thought to myself but truly it didn’t matter much, as long as we were just all together.

I spotted some free beds and we arranged ourselves there comfortably. After the sunblock ritual, armbands and allocating the beach toys to each one, I finally felt I could lie down and sink into my new novel. I had not even had a chance to take off my beach dress and beads of sweat were collecting beneath the soft cotton. It was only then I noticed how warm it was that day. A quick dip to cool off and then the novel would be devoured. I motioned to my son that I would be coming in with them. His broad smile was indication enough to inform me of how excited it made them that mama was heading to the water. I have always disliked the initial feeling of stepping on the shore and making contact with the chilled water, adjusting my body to the temperature. Once this drama was over I was swimming in towards my children, who were already having fights over who got to use the inflatable sunbed. I wished inside me that I could simply take authority over it and simply lie on it myself. As their mother I could use my powers and probably just get away with it. Of course I would never do that, the witch in me wasn’t ready to come out yet.

She welcomed me with a flamboyant splashing ceremony. This far from pleased me, when I was about to tell her off and my inner voice sarcastically told me off and reminded me I was on a beach and with a four year old, not lounging in Monaco with the pompous elite. I wiped off my sunglasses and proceeded to invade the sunbed and behave like one more child having fun. He crept up from behind and toppled me over. Clearly there was no difference between grown up and child today. Bearing a cheeky grin he burst out laughing, only re affirming my revenge. Vigorous splashing seemed apt as my vendetta and blurring his vision only made me gregariously laugh further.

We finally toned it down and I regained possession over the sunbed. She lay on top of me and we floated our weight in the calm waters. I felt safe, I felt at peace. Rewinding images from moments earlier made me smile and I decided this was my safe place. I captivated all the instances and created a mental shot.

Moments later I was absorbed by the words in my novel, but took a few minutes to look up and watch my family. Amidst the hundreds of people there, I had placed a spotlight on my three pillars and masked the rest of them out. The novel no longer seemed as interesting and I was in awe of the activity each one was conducting. She simply sat there and patiently searched for shells in the sand. The two boys had found way to play with the ball in the water and were busy volleying, catching and smashing. I knew I didn’t really want to be a part of the ball game and nor was I interested in looking for shells, yet observing each act was so soothing that I sub consciously let out a pleased grin and thanked Him.

We all need to remind ourselves of our safe place and if possible allow your mind to travel into that snug situation to escape those feelings of fear and trepidation.  I had found my own safe place and was never going to let go of it. 

Fingerless

I had cut you off like a finger, so now I just had four. 
But in cutting that finger, my hand was no longer bearing the numbness from before.

The Candle

A piece of me
I can feel but cannot see
Lingers
Floats around
Looking for you

A candle flickers away
There's so much it wants to say
Yet all it does it shine and obey
The words melt with the wax
And give way

A piece of you
Wanders in and out
Constantly
Giving me a shout
I cannot hear
What is this really about?

The candle still stands
Eternal glittering strands
Weighed down by all it
s held in
Words on tip
Yet deep within

You and me
Will glide and be
Graze and brawl
Occasionally

This candle is our light
Will fight and flight
A piece of me
A piece of you
They fall
They melt
Together they felt

Social Media: Addicted or Not?

Social Media : a virtual room full of people where all of us are shouting out information, exchanging views and thoughts and calling for attention. In this room there are also bystanders and those simply watching the show. There are a lucky few who get noticed, the even luckier ones get an answer and of course the luckiest of all who find their solution and are able to offer a solution. 

All jokes aside, Social Media is the most powerful platform today to promote yourself, exchange information in a matter of seconds, build a good image and also screw someone over in a jiffy. All that on the largest global stage fabricated from web-based technologies, where we are all equal and so equal that we even feel close enough to a celebrity to offer our condolences to them when one of their parents passes away.

Social media has only come to possess us in the recent years and prior to that we pretty much relied on traditional methods of advertising for our businesses and on a personal level we actually picked up the phone and made a call. In Social Media one doesn't need a physical voice, all you need is a keypad and the knowledge to be able to communicate in your given language. 

I decided to go back in time and step into the year 2001 for a few days. I disabled my smartphone a few levels and switched off my IM functions, deleted my total of seven social media Apps and kept active only my email accounts, SMS and phone calls. I did realise this would be a sticky affair for me considering I use Social Media not only for work but also on a personal level to promote my blog and to keep in touch with people. 

Nevertheless, I was prepared to take the leap and actually was looking forward to a week without knowing what someone ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner, how the view of the sky was from an airplane, what Candy Crush level someone had crossed, where someone had checked in to drink a cup of coffee, which song they were listening to at 02.23 am or how the change in weather was affecting someone’s mood. With absolutely no offense to anyone, it was simply an experiment I was ready to embark upon.

Initially I felt hugely responsible to inform a few people of my disappearance and this is when I truly realised there was literally only a handful of people who would be hugely affected by my absence on all these networks. An eye opener that was!

I had all kinds of reaction, ranging from “ok”, “what? L Why? Are you okay?”, “when will you be back?” (this last one felt like I was moving to Nepal and detaching from the world), and “I don’t believe you will last for more than a day”.

As amusing as all these reactions were, all these people adjusted to my needs and I was humbled by their efforts to call me from abroad, email me and not expect an instant reply or even leave messages with other people for me.

Apart from my phone battery lasting longer these days, I noticed my mind was relaxed and not scattered. I was not concerned about replying my Whatsapp’s, updating my status on FB or Twitter, Pinning a dress I liked in a store, enhancing my pictures on Instagram, searching for music on Spotify, watching Youtube videos or reading poetry on Tumblr. What a mouthful that was right? Imagine all the time I was saving?

Instead I read the newspaper once a day, used my memory to wish a good friend a Happy Birthday and actually met her for a coffee, without doing a Foursquare check in or taking a picture of our doughnuts and posting them on Instagram. I called my mother and spoke to her for an hour, I read a novel in all my waiting breaks, cleaned out my Inbox, emptied my Trash and deleted over two hundred pictures from my phones memory. It was like Feng Shui was being performed on my phone and I was happy to let it happen.

I did notice also how the social part of the media is simply “a boredom filler” for most of us. I call this TP (Time Pass).  If I was missing on Facebook, no one really cared and if I didn’t tweet or pin then again no one really cared. I was used to speaking to certain people in this social media manner on a daily basis and actually began to believe for a while “yeah we are close!” It’s not that I am not fond of those people or vice versa, but in all honesty had there not been a medium in between, well perhaps communication would be nil or limited. Does this ring a bell? The good old days when we only spoke to someone when there was a true need and this did not label you as anti social did it? I have mentioned my Fist of Five before and in these past few days that fist was alive and very much active, without an instrument in between which held us together.

Conclusions. I agree I did have withdrawal symptoms on occasions and I was especially keen to check up on the posts that were made by some bloggers I follow and I also felt a need to see certain pictures. Nevertheless, this need was not a desperate one and I reminded myself that I could easily survive without these networks and there are other things in my life I most definitely would not survive without. I am luckily not one of those people who suffers from compulsive status updating, but I would like to remind everyone that it’s not healthy to share your problems publicly because other than being judged and probably ridiculed, the fact is Lou Holtz said that 20% don’t actually care and the remaining 80% are actually glad you have them. This is very disturbing and the same applies for your victories and triumphs. 20% don’t care and 80% are probably jealous.

We all do it, I do it and I proudly post, tweet, pin, check in, like, comment, repost and I would dislike too if the option was there. However, it’s good to find a balance and this is one more addiction that can be remedied.

An interesting fact I observed was the time I take to use social media for my business and blog promotion everyday is not more than thirty minutes in total. Yet somehow on a personal level we are able to spend 4-5 hours a day on these networks. Doing what? Well that you should know!

In a positive light, I believe Social Media is fantastic for all the introverts out there. It enables the Internet to act as a buffer first and allows you to prepare for your answers. There are a lot of people who suffer from speech impediments and Social Media has broken down those barriers of prejudice for such people. It boosts their confidence and brings them out of their bubble.

Social Media has also brought the world closer on many levels. It is easier to share knowledge that can be very useful to others via this medium. Blogs play a large role and bring out the objective arguments of many services, products and solutions offered to consumers. An example I like to use is for the hospitality industry. Thanks to you the social media user, I get to hear about your experience at a restaurant or hotel. It enables me to make my decision more carefully and I am deeply thankful for these insights.

Use these magnificent tools to empower you, don't let social media overpower you! 

Mine Not To Keep

When that hand is no longer yours to hold

When you cry so much your tears run dry

When you see me but look straight through me

When the pain becomes a permanent resident

When the flame has turned into fumes

When yesterday and today blur tomorrow

When you want to but you can’t

When you sleep you are awake, when awake just dormant

When you are living but not alive

When the flowers stand pretty but have no fragrance

When you are walking but your shadow is lost

When you are dead but not buried

When my pen bleeds and I can’t heal the wound

When I found you I had to lose you

But in all this what remains unchanged…

My sun will rise with you in it and it will set with you in it.

If I keep you I cage our love

Letting you go means our love is free

Alfaazon ki Barsaat (Rain of Words)

It’s an odd thing what we do with words. From a very young age we are injected with vocabulary to help us communicate better or put into writing what we want to say. Is it so that only words are the way to get your message across? I believe there are moments in life where a phrasal combination is insufficient to send out your exact sentiment. Either way a loud scream or a bitter silence always contains a word or even a world of words.

Some of us choose to not speak at all. Silence is golden apparently. I speak too much, so I’m told. Perhaps it is true that silence is golden, because if I didn’t talk then the words I am not using would have more value and be significantly tattooed in someone’s mind if I used them like flakes of saffron and not spread them like butter.

Then you have those that get positively turned on by a person who has the most extensive vocabulary, even if the words they use deliver no meaning or essence to the listener. How so do words take on such a large role in our existence? If I could go a day without speaking, would I survive?

Say it, before it’s too late? Three words have the power to construct your relationship or destroy it. That’s a lot of pressure on poor words don’t you think?

And then there are moments when I am bleeding for inspiration but the words behave like a diva, she refuses to make it to show time. You do not understand me and I cannot explain. I call these moments of anesthetic stupefaction. It’s almost like my head is having a stubborn argument with my soul and I even need permission for my heart to beat at the right pace.

Unfinished sentences can be so sexy in my opinion.  I once read that each word if used with the perfect timing is like being undressed layer by layer. I want to do with you…” I have a husband who is a master at this and we have come to a point where I tend to finish his phrases. Perhaps this is what he wants or his game is to undress me slowly with his carefully chosen use of words. 

Words on paper and words from your mouth, we read and hear them differently don’t we? I often read a text message and fall into a tunnel of darkness and wondering. Why did they say that and how did I automatically apply a specific tone to the sentence? Am I creating my own trap of uncertainties?

It’s again a master and slave situation. Words can make us slaves to their meaning and it is us who choose to read what we want to read. A no and a yes can have solid weight I agree, but you know what has the most weight? Hmmm

I have to admit I am having a love affair with words and it will be forever, eternal and infinite. The best thing about words is they are upfront and honest. The ambiguity we choose to dress them with is just like making a cupcake look pretty and powerful by giving it personality and sex appeal. In the end the cupcake is successful only if the cake is moist and spongy.

Words are like fresh oxygen or deadly carbon monoxide, they have the jurisdiction to sentence our thoughts in one way or another.