Saturday 14 April 2012

Ugly- (1995)

The day has only just begun
Nothing appears like it’s going to be fun
Roll in bed, twist and turn
It’s time to wake up and make a run

Open your eyes and remember
Remember that you are still here
Still far from looking thin and slender
I give up, I want to surrender

Stares and gazes that come my way
Everyday
All the time
Where ever I go, whatever I say
From the outside I appear okay

I have my fantasy
I have my dream
I leap into it and feel supreme
Here I am the princess
Pretty and flawless

The day has only just begun
Nothing appears like it’s going to be fun
Roll in bed, twist and turn
I really must get up and make the run

Reality is quite different
The world is real, not an illusion
My biggest disillusion

Late again, so what’s new?
Get to the bus stop and wait in the queue
I will just always be amongst those few

Thursday 12 April 2012

Summer days

A cove on the Costa Brava I discovered last summer.


Bodies lie horizontal
On a mattress of soft sand
A sheet of towel in between
Splish splash drops
A ball drops

Rays of sunshine
Screen the sky
Flames of heat
Burning feet
Smothering lotion
A soothing potion

She plays with seashells
Curiously dwells
Digs deeper, massaging her fingers
Crumbs of sand highlight her strands
Looks at me
Flirts with her eyes
...happy sighs

A timid hush
Coquetish rush
A scream of fear
A celebratory cheer
These ripples are not shy
Loud and clear
Can you hear?

All day long the waves perform their dance
Splish splash
Crash
A turbulent romance

A dreamy breeze
A lethargic ease
Strong hands
Familiar touch
I've missed you
So much

An anesthetizing hiss
We kiss
Tickling fingers
A warm breath lingers
Spine
Nape
Escape

The sun crawls down
Pomegranate paints the horizon
Merging wigwag violet azure
We stand there
Hand in hand
Bedazzled by the sunset that shimmers the land

Tuesday 10 April 2012

Choice or Chance - Serendipity

"Life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences, but rather a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite sublime plan" - Serendipity 2001 (Film)

The definition of Serendipity is actually a fortunate accident that leads you to discover something. The following is a piece about the way many of us live our day to day lives floating around believing that these so called "accidents" and occurrences can crack a crucial equation to the events of our life. Clearly this idea breaks the rules of logic and simple science and perhaps you'd imagine I'm just living a fantasy fairy tale. The world is quite divided on this idea and many also think these signs are just happy coincidences and move along, without paying much regard to them.

Ironically, one of the most famous examples of such a fortuitous accident was the discovery of penicillin. Alexander Fleming returned from a holiday to find penicillin molds had killed bacteria that Fleming had neglected to disinfect. There are plenty of other such cases where one can blame an accident or sign which was there for someone to either ignore or acknowledge and the result possibly changed that person’s life. 

Depending on the culture, religion or heritage you come from, different signs appear in our lives and we all have them in the unconscious of our minds. However, depending on if you wish to live by choice or chance you choose to read into these signs or ignore them.

What is a sign?
They are like messengers of important information about your current or future life. They can be subtle reflections of what is going on with you or inside of you. They work in different ways and forms;

Dreams- Have you ever had a recurring dream where perhaps you remember symbols, words, phrases, people or even a song?
Conversations- Often these are fragments or slips of the tongue. There is always a reason we have a conversation with someone. I was once on a flight and sat next to a total stranger who told me she had studied at the same boarding school as me, although much more senior to me and had later gone on to study the same degree as me at a different university to mine. She got married soon after her graduation and had two children. I was still not a graduate at the time but met a woman who seemed to fit the exact description of what my life would be in the future. I only didn't know it at the time. At the end of the flight she discovered she had been sitting in the wrong seat all along and had misread her boarding pass. I conclude from this little story that you must listen carefully and take in all that you hear. It's important to not think much about what you are going to say, but to infact live in the moment.
Random thoughts- When you are doing something seemingly normal do you get random thoughts that run through your mind. You may hear of a random topic or person, almost like a tangent it does not relate to your present activity, but a few days later the same thought or person runs through your mind or even crops up in your real life. We all live such moments, but very few of us actually pay attention to these thoughts and wonder why?
Media- Sometimes scenes, commentary can all be interpreted as a message that is being conveyed to you. Books, billboards, magazines and nowadays even printed words or phrases we read on t-shirts or in the social media can feel like they are jumping out at you and giving you the answer you need. Read your fortune cookie next time, you never know!
People (known/unknown) - Everyone is put into your path to cross with you or meet you at a junction of your life. You must not disregard these people; they are supposed to represent an answer for you. Most of all don't forget that you could also be a messenger for someone else. I once kept meeting the same guy in the elevator when I worked in a bank. I decided to say hello one day and it turned out this guy was a neighbour of mine who lived on the floor above me. All these years I had never met him in my home elevator, but instead I was supposed to meet him in my work elevator. Next time you have an "elevator" meeting, perhaps you should seize those seconds and say hello. 

These are but a few of the ways by which we see signs and the believers like myself often choose to pursue them further. Others, who are indifferent to such anecdotes, merely regard them as happy coincidences of life. I agree with the latter and it is possible that many of these "signs" are just happy pills to keep us smiling through the day. However, I also think there are times one must take those leaps of faith and actually follow the signs. You won't know whether they're good or bad until you test them right? 

This time I decided to consider the reasons why others like myself would consider paying attention to these signs and launched a question to a group of around 20 individuals and gave them multiple choice answers, also allowing room for additional input from their side. My question was simple; You believe in signs because, a) they are like messengers of information that bring me closer to the solution b) God is sending his answers in this anonymous fashion c) I just feel better following them, they act as a reassuring device. 

This mini survey brought out a perfect balance of answers, but what I noticed a lot was that many chose to interlink their responses by using either A and B or B and C. I concluded from my research that as human beings we always need answers to everything and many of us like to hear these from a third party or in the form of a sign. Most of the time these answers actually lie within us, but we have this urge to search outside. Our brain works in a complex way and the uncertainties that lie within us are comforted by these positive signs that we see or hear in the exterior. In cases where you have a faith in God, well as Albert Einstein said coincidence is Gods way of remaining anonymous. We reaffirm our faith in Him by accepting that these signs are anonymous messages he wants to send you in order to help you thorough a problem. I.e. our prayers have been answered. 

I want to end this piece asking you all a famous question which has eternally been considered as the statement which is used as a tool for dealing with acceptance. If signs and anecdotes in our life are meant to lead the way for us and guide us towards the solution or at least part of the solution and there is a force in the universe that pushes you towards or away from an outcome, is it always true that the result is always for the best?

Does everything happen for a reason? Are all the outcomes, even the most negative ones like death or terminal illnesses meant to happen because what you are meant to accept from them are the actual lessons they teach you? I end on this note and no prizes for guessing what I will be embarking on next. 

Special thanks to a few close friends who have contributed to this piece by providing me motivation, data and lived examples of "serendipity" with me.