It
was
just after seven. All day
I had felt a desperate need to be with him and I just couldn’t hold it any
longer. I decided to go meet him. I was apprehensive, it had been a while
since I’d seen him and I wasn’t too sure if he would welcome me in the same way
or if I would still feel the same feeling. In the past there had been pain and
also satisfaction. He worked me hard but always assured me the results would
benefit both of us. I knew he was mad, mad because I had not returned his
calls. He had shouted out to me so many times and all I could offer were feeble
excuses. I had felt let down by him on many levels too, but this was partly my own recklessness. He had asked me to be careful but I had defied his instructions and
just broken some rules. Today I felt strong, exceptionally strong, and prepared
to face my plight with him.
I can’t believe it’s you? You look different.
How have you been?
Same old, the paths haven’t changed. Different people have taken over
them and a void of others remains. What brings you here girl?
He had a way of making me feel
guilty and needy at the same time. I suddenly remembered the reason why he was
so brutally addictive. He was handsome and charming, even in his nonchalant demeanour
he always offered me.
Well I’m here today, and ready to
start again.
You don’t need my permission; I’ve always been here. I’m ready if you
are.
I am.
Remember take it slow and just look at me when you feel the need to
stop. Understood?
Yes.
We headed out nice and slow, I could
feel his scent brushing my face. Deep breaths and steady steps were always the
key. I looked ahead and focused, but I could feel he kept a watch on me. He was
protective of me and this turned me on in more than many ways. The sun had set
a while ago; city lights offering blinking fireflies accompanied us. The recent
rain had left puddles that glistened under the moonlight and bounced
reflections off the asphalt.
How are you feeling? Are you ready to take some speed?
In a short while, let me enjoy the
stroll for a bit longer. I’ve missed you. I’ve missed this. My pulse was rapidly
rising.
Whenever you are ready just show me the hand.
He’s mad; I can see why he would be.
He gave me the whole summer, his time and everything he had. I can’t say I
don’t love him; otherwise I would not be here today. I need to show him my
strength and make him believe in me again.
Let’s go, give it to me faster.
Ok keep gliding and don’t forget to breathe. Loosen up, you need to
relax or you will hurt yourself. You need to own the pavement; we need to own
the pavement! Trust me?
More than I trust myself.
Off we went! I was under his wings
and could feel the motion increasing. I really was strong today. My body was
responding in the right ways. The beat resonated in my ears and blocked out all
the external distractions that usually slowed me down. There was a chill in the
air, quite complimentary to the heat my body was letting off. He invisibly
pushed me further, the leaves crunched beneath us and I could feel the moment
coming closer.
You haven’t forgotten your technique girl, rusty on edge but we can work
on the loose ends.
If only he you knew what he did to
me? I began my race, pushing my limits only with the faith of knowing he was
watching my every step.
Relax girl, you will burn your engine otherwise. Why are you always in a rush to get things
done? Dance with me, lets move together. In unison everything is better,
stronger and lasts longer. Trust me?
More than I trust myself. And so we
danced the final stride together. I could feel the breathing regulate, he
provided me with the oxygen I had lacked all this time. Suddenly I was in my
tunnel of perfection, breezing my way through the crowds of football fans,
Sunday strollers and all the other beings that made way for my flight.
Don’t burn out now girl, stay a while longer, we can finish this
together.
I’m tired I need to stop. I really
can’t go on.
Yes you can, you are not tired. The weak get tired. You will finish when
I tell you. His
angry tone had a desperate agenda. He was scolding me for my absence, for
letting him down all these months. I knew I could not let him down again,
especially not now and not today. Brain
and balance, brain and balance. I could here his words echoing in my ears.
He was punching my fatigue away with his hypnosis. Brilliant, he was just
brilliant.
And then it happened. The wall was
broken, he embraced me and we crossed in unison. I had arrived, we had arrived.
Tomorrow same time?
I’d like that.
Pushing the weight of my luggage
