Ready, Steady, Love

It was just after seven. All day I had felt a desperate need to be with him and I just couldn’t hold it any longer. I decided to go meet him. I was apprehensive, it had been a while since I’d seen him and I wasn’t too sure if he would welcome me in the same way or if I would still feel the same feeling. In the past there had been pain and also satisfaction. He worked me hard but always assured me the results would benefit both of us. I knew he was mad, mad because I had not returned his calls. He had shouted out to me so many times and all I could offer were feeble excuses. I had felt let down by him on many levels too, but this was partly my own recklessness. He had asked me to be careful but I had defied his instructions and just broken some rules. Today I felt strong, exceptionally strong, and prepared to face my plight with him.

I can’t believe it’s you? You look different.

How have you been?

Same old, the paths haven’t changed. Different people have taken over them and a void of others remains. What brings you here girl?

He had a way of making me feel guilty and needy at the same time. I suddenly remembered the reason why he was so brutally addictive. He was handsome and charming, even in his nonchalant demeanour he always offered me.

Well I’m here today, and ready to start again.

You don’t need my permission; I’ve always been here. I’m ready if you are.

I am.

Remember take it slow and just look at me when you feel the need to stop. Understood?

Yes.

We headed out nice and slow, I could feel his scent brushing my face. Deep breaths and steady steps were always the key. I looked ahead and focused, but I could feel he kept a watch on me. He was protective of me and this turned me on in more than many ways. The sun had set a while ago; city lights offering blinking fireflies accompanied us. The recent rain had left puddles that glistened under the moonlight and bounced reflections off the asphalt.

How are you feeling? Are you ready to take some speed?

In a short while, let me enjoy the stroll for a bit longer. I’ve missed you. I’ve missed this. My pulse was rapidly rising.

Whenever you are ready just show me the hand.

He’s mad; I can see why he would be. He gave me the whole summer, his time and everything he had. I can’t say I don’t love him; otherwise I would not be here today. I need to show him my strength and make him believe in me again.

Let’s go, give it to me faster.

Ok keep gliding and don’t forget to breathe. Loosen up, you need to relax or you will hurt yourself. You need to own the pavement; we need to own the pavement!  Trust me?

More than I trust myself.

Off we went! I was under his wings and could feel the motion increasing. I really was strong today. My body was responding in the right ways. The beat resonated in my ears and blocked out all the external distractions that usually slowed me down. There was a chill in the air, quite complimentary to the heat my body was letting off. He invisibly pushed me further, the leaves crunched beneath us and I could feel the moment coming closer.

You haven’t forgotten your technique girl, rusty on edge but we can work on the loose ends.

If only he you knew what he did to me? I began my race, pushing my limits only with the faith of knowing he was watching my every step.

Relax girl, you will burn your engine otherwise.  Why are you always in a rush to get things done? Dance with me, lets move together. In unison everything is better, stronger and lasts longer. Trust me?

More than I trust myself. And so we danced the final stride together. I could feel the breathing regulate, he provided me with the oxygen I had lacked all this time. Suddenly I was in my tunnel of perfection, breezing my way through the crowds of football fans, Sunday strollers and all the other beings that made way for my flight.

Don’t burn out now girl, stay a while longer, we can finish this together.

I’m tired I need to stop. I really can’t go on.

Yes you can, you are not tired. The weak get tired. You will finish when I tell you. His angry tone had a desperate agenda. He was scolding me for my absence, for letting him down all these months. I knew I could not let him down again, especially not now and not today. Brain and balance, brain and balance. I could here his words echoing in my ears. He was punching my fatigue away with his hypnosis. Brilliant, he was just brilliant.

And then it happened. The wall was broken, he embraced me and we crossed in unison. I had arrived, we had arrived.

Tomorrow same time?

I’d like that.