A Beautiful Mind & A Beautiful Body

I don't want to make this post about what are the best methods to keep fit or to lose weight. I don't feel I am anyone to help a person deal with such issues. However if there is one area in which I am by far the expert, that is giving my own experience which for me has changed my body completely. 

I had noticed in the last 3 years that I had become a slave of the weighing scale and there was always the magic number which I prayed I would find in the mornings. I struggled very hard to reach that number, deep down I knew I would never get there and if I fit into my clothes and looked somewhat presentable then I should be happy with that.  The reason for my struggle was probably related to my childhood chubbiness which had haunted me for a very long time. The year I got married, I do remember feeling like a million dollars, probably because I had found someone who accepted me for the way I looked and loved my face, my curves and the whole package deal. Looking back at my pictures today, I cringe because I really did not look my best in the physical sense. However, I smile because I was glowing and it was a magical time.

So, recently I reflected on my mood. I had not reached my target weight, I felt scared to eat anything which remotely carried more calories than my daily allowance, I was exercising everyday and I was only just fitting into the clothes which I had aspired to fit into. I realised I was making far more sacrifice than reaping benefits from it. The situation didn't seem right! In all this I never uttered a word to anyone and simply sulked to myself. I was obsessed with wanting to fit into this one particular dress which I was supposed to wear for a special occasion in a few weeks time. I had a goal but I was miserable.

Certain events occurred in my life around the same time and they took away the time which I was otherwise investing in my body and a weight loss plan. I had no choice but to ignore my calories, forget the gym and simply focus on these other priorities. 

After about ten days of no dieting and simply eating like a normal person, without performing any exercise, other than my usual running around and mundane chores I noticed one morning that a pair of jeans were loose on me. I didn't believe it at first so I tried on another pair which was usually tight. This pair fit like a glove and I was so excited that I had to show my husband. My immediate thought was to get on the weighing scale. For the first time ever in my life I saw the magic number and I almost fell off the scales. I didn't understand how this had happened. 

The reason this had happened was because I had actually listened to my body. I was being pleaded and begged for years to stop abusing it and start pampering it. As much as this sounds like a contradiction, sometimes you must feed yourself to shed the weight. I admit I had not eaten unhealthily in these past ten days, but the difference was I HAD eaten. Contrary to the past, I had fed myself the same food I feed my family and not worried about an extra chapatti or an added spoon of rice. I was eating and enjoying my food. I was not over eating because I was not obsessed with my food. My meals were a time to relax and not fret over calories. I honestly believe I was allowing my digestive system to work in a relaxed fashion and it didn't feel my pressure or anxiety which had otherwise stressed it in the past. 

This was indeed an awakening and I seriously felt like a million dollars again, but not because I looked good but because I felt good. Coming back to my wedding day, it was far far more important to be emotionally in tune with myself than to be physically in tune. I told my husband about my little secret and he said he had observed a calmer member at the dining table, hoping she was going to stay and not bounce back to her old ways.

It has now been over a month since I made this discovery. The weighing scale reads the same magic number, I fit into all my clothes, I have resumed the gym but I am not obsessed with it. At present I am actually on a fitness break and it doesn't even bother me. I am eating EVERYTHING and I have people who can vouch for that. What I have worked on is to find an equilibrium and a sense of internal tuning. I listen to my body and it responds back. I am nice to it, so it rewards me by being nice back. The rewards can include simple things like sleeping well, not feeling bloated, not feeling starved and more than anything I feel beautiful. 

In life we can spend years doing a yo yo diet, being on a liquid diet, starving, over eating and simply obsessing over a number or a measurement. I will not deny that I don't care about my size, of course I care, but the minute you start caring about your body and not just the naked anatomy, well this is when you can expect a change. We all know what foods are good for us and we even know which fitness plan can benefit us. Nevertheless, we often hammer ourselves with goals and objectives. When you struggle is when your body is crying to you and telling you to stop! Just pay attention and I can guarantee you will be happier, healthier and HOT!!