A moment

Email or Phone call?

Is our society losing sight of effective communication due to the global domination of electronic communication? I am referring to the decision between making that good old phone call vs. sending out an e-mail or text. A telephone call is live instant communication between two parties, through a telephone network using voice. An email is written communication between two parties, sent and received instantly. Therefore, the main difference between a call and an email is voice vs. text.

With the increased use and legal enforcement of emailing in the professional world, it unequivocally has many advantages that we will discuss next. Email has without a doubt overshadowed the option for a phone call, especially in many cases even amongst the youth. A British study conducted by independent media regulator Ofcom found that among 16- to 24-year-olds, phone calls are being superseded by texts or other e-messages. Per the research, 96 percent use some form of text-based communication -- either though social networks (73 percent) or through traditional texting (90 percent) -- on a daily basis. By comparison, only 67 percent of that age group talks on the phone daily. Overall, total time spent on the phone declined 5 percent for Britons of all ages, the first such drop since the 1990s, according to The Guardian.

Advantages of email:

1.     An email is cost free, instant and global. One can send an email anywhere in the world at any time of the day and not pay a penny.

2.     The recipient usually receives this email instantly, additionally enabling both parties to document their communication and keeping a detailed track of the entire communication process.

3.     An email is also wonderful for those who get stuck with words over the phone, as it allows them to plan what they will be writing and use the right vocabulary to express their needs or concerns.

The difference between an email and a text message is the formality of their nature. An email is technically more formal and should be written with the correct punctuation and grammar, as one would with a handwritten letter. A text message usually gives margin for being informal and brief.

According to research firm The Radicati Group, Inc., in 2013 there were:
+ 929 million business email accounts
+ 507 billion emails sent per day
+ An average of 78 emails received and 37 sent per user, per day. These figures show a lot of emails being exchanged, but how productive are we really being with this exchange?

There is a specific time and situation one should communicate via email or text. The problem we are seeing today is this confusion in the decision of which technology to use, from the myriad offered to us.

I will give you an example. Most of us own a smart phone and have enabled on this our texting applications, email accounts, voice enabled calls and of course we also have our social media accounts embedded in mobile format. Let me give you some examples of the misuse of these methods. I have missed my lunch appointment because I was notified of the change in venue through the Facebook messenger chat only an hour before my lunch meeting, been wished on my birthday on an Instagram picture and seen it three days later, asked to meet someone for a professional meeting via text and accidently deleted the text message so I no longer had the details, then also received an email to schedule a meeting which ended up being a thread of up to eight messages to decide which time mutually suits us both. Can you see the irregular and inappropriate use of these methods of communication in some of them?

Have you noticed there is not ONE phone call made? Wouldn’t you agree that many of the above stated incidents could have been remedied by that one quick phone call?

 The underlying problem we face today is simply lack of technological education to understand when it is appropriate to use a certain method and added to that this incredible fear for the telephone. We all have smart phones to make our lives smarter, but sadly the function we least use on our “smart” phones is actually the voice call. How smart are we really being?

I have described the advantages of using e-mail and also the alternatives to e-mail that all belong to the umbrella called social media. All these options have a common factor; they do not include voice and are simply visual text.

Let’s address the advantages of a phone call or if you prefer to be more modern: Skype, Viber and the likes.

1.     The traditional phone call can be expensive, but the alternatives have enabled a call to be practically cost free, especially thanks to Internet calls.

2.     A phone call enables you to negotiate more freely, especially in the business world.

3.     Feedback in a phone call is quicker and this obviously saves time (endless email threads).

4.     A phone call can actually be more casual and break the ice between two business parties, who perhaps via email have a more formal barrier.

5.     In a phone call you can gauge the tone of the receiving end and monitor your questions more carefully, as well as ask new questions that could stem from the current conversation.

Now obviously the situation none of us like is that of a cold call and luckily the email has salvaged us from the trauma which otherwise makes us sweat and stress for obvious reasons. It can be hard to approach someone for the first time through a phone call.

Imagine if their accent is hard for you to understand, they come across cold because that’s just how they are on the phone, their name is ambiguous and you actually cannot tell if it’s a man or woman you will be calling (yes this has happened to me). In a nutshell, a cold call is the worst-case scenario for anyone in the professional world, unless you receive specific training for this and it forms part of your job description.

However, let’s say you meet a new potential customer at a trade fair and have to follow up business with them. It is statistically proven that a formal re introduction email followed by a phone call shortly after has higher positive results than an email with a reply in return (that may take longer as we do not know how long one takes to reply to their emails). Remember you already “sort of” know your customer and can tailor your call far more effectively than write it on email.

I was recently in a situation where I was approaching several institutions for a project, and effectively I was the one in “need” of help. My first approach was actually a cold call where I aimed to get the name of a specific person I was supposed to email. This is very important, as you can address your email to a person and not just an email address. After my email I waited a few days, after which if there was no reply from the receiving end, I picked up the phone and made that cold call or as I call it warm call. I had already sent out the information on my project, so my introduction was formally done. This warm call was my follow up, and I preferred to a follow up email.

The results were outstanding! I learnt that a few of these people had actually not received the email and this was great since I had the opportunity to pitch to them over the phone and even get a personal appointment with them, I learnt that my voice convinced them about the project, which words through an email could not do, so persistence can be effective vocally. Finally, I learnt that if there was a rejection towards my project proposal, it was due to circumstances nothing to do with my actual idea, but simply bad timing with the institution. The latter comforts you, as you realise rejection must not be taken personally.

When we hear an advert on the radio and when we are sold the same product through an email, what usually remains in your memory more? The element of voice is so important to grab someone’s attention and although it is far more expensive to advertise on the radio, a phone call these days is pretty much free.

When one types they are not processing words, rather distributing information. However, when you are talking you are aware of your tone and can use vocabulary to add spark to your conversation. An email extinguishes the linguistic skill of adding colour to your language.

Although I have dissected the email to it’s last cell, I do have to stress the importance of this form of communication as a starting point of communication and how imperative it is to document data, especially on a legal level. Nevertheless, it serves more importantly as that: a paperless, inexpensive and efficient method of data documentation.

Human verbal negotiation has always shown positive results in almost all fields of the professional world, not to mention in our personal and social lives. I have addressed the excessive use of social media in one of my previous articles; http://goldieuttamchandani.blogspot.com.es/2013/06/social-media-addicted-or-not.html#.UyDJxaVicds but the more serious problem lies in the misuse and inappropriate application of these methods for basic communication.

A phone call is has been addressed as old fashioned and traditional compared to an email, but the truth is it’s basically a phone call and cannot be replaced by anything, especially not an email. Let’s try to say “call me on my phone” rather than “text me on my phone”, and perhaps a call can make that sexy comeback again.

Universal Soul

One

Anti-racism week on Thoughts Translated. Let's all blend into one color and be One. 

What is love?

Let me tell you what I think love is. Love is your mum saving you a portion of her "paratha" because she knows how much you wouldn't otherwise have it if she made you a full one. Love is your son sending his first ever email to you. Love is the coffee shop attendant grilling your sandwich for you even when her other customers are waiting. Love is your domestic helper vacuuming your bedroom twice in one day, so you won't suffer from your dust allergies. Love is you learning how to box stitch from a YouTube video just so you can make the perfect bracelet for your daughter. Love is being called fatty all your life and fighting about it too. Love is hanging up on your mum and calling her back. Love is saying very mean things and later apologizing. Love is smiling, then crying and then smiling again. Love is you calling your husband up to ask where he is and he's just walked through the door. Love is your best friend giving you a postcard with a bicycle and a heart on it.. Because she knows. Love is saying those three words without really saying them, but showing them. 

Love is everywhere, anywhere, here, there and in all of us. Why do we need a day especially to celebrate this extraordinarily ordinary phenomenon? Well why not? If we celebrated love everyday, like the cynics put it, how would we value love? Do you want it to be your birthday everyday? 

Valentines Day is commercial, tacky, corny, cliched and yes it's also made up. Nevertheless I believe it addresses a very fundamental energy that we all survive on. If we were to say "well don't love, you might get hurt". We may as well say "don't live, you might die."

Love is pure, real, full of pain and pleasure. It's bitter sweet, salty and can be poisonous too.  Love is something people are willing to die for ... Literally. Don't underestimate it's power and celebrate it, for we are all lovers on this earth.

As my daughter put it to me this afternoon, "Valemtimes day is when we must give everyone lots of hugs and kisses and tell them how much we love them". Are you going to argue with that? No, I didn't think so :)

Happy Valemtimes Day readers. Love from Thoughts Translated xoxo

Happiness

It was a busy café with only a couple of empty tables. I picked up my tea and occupied one of the vacant ones. As I undressed the many layers of clothing that shielded me from the bitter outdoors, I felt a magnetic pull from the table of strangers that was directly in front of me. There was something uniquely different about their demeanor. 

He must have been in his mid eighties, slouching and not completely in control of his gestures. His eyes delivered fatigue, yet a sparkling glint of enthusiasm that was accompanied by a shy smile, welcoming me to watch their table. He peeled off the layers of his croissant with his misshapen knotty fingers, utterly unaffected by the mess he was making with the crumbs. He chewed on the pastry and every so often would dip a piece in his frothy café con leche. She had a dancing thing going on and was busy bobbing up and down with her own moves to the background music, which apparently only she could hear through the noisy outbursts in the café. She teased him with her hands and giggled every time he attempted to grab them. His lack of precision made her giggle, by which he felt rather proud. She was a bouncing ball of energy, also oblivious to her surroundings, high on her own adrenalin. They mutually fed off each other’s attention, effortlessly entertaining each other.

A flaming tangerine fluff stained her unblemished upper lip as she was helped to drink from the largest glass of fresh orange juice I had ever seen. Between her skits and stunts she was wiped and fed by the final member of this moving picture. Patiently she explained to him what the cackle was all about, whilst being smothered with kisses by her precious princess. He nodded back with the brightest smile, again talking to me with his shimmering eyes. As she divided her attention between her sun and moon, I noticed her own coffee was left untouched and turned cold. Unaffected, she sipped her now frozen coffee and instinctively searched for warmth by seizing her back with a tight bear hug. 

My time here was up and I had to leave. If I'd had one wish that evening, it would have been to replay and repeat. 

Let's Chat About Death

I have written about this subject before and that was a long time ago, I suppose in a way it’s a nice thing to know I don’t have to address this issue too often in my life. I have always said love and death are two uninvited guests and most of the time love enters your life and produces unimaginable pleasure and death; well quite the opposite, grief and pain, which you are never, prepared for. I have

also come to believe over the years that there are moments when those that love you the most also hurt you the most. So in fact we are basically living in this circle of pleasure and pain. How you choose to handle it and who you feel is worth suffering for is really a personal thing, which only you can answer.

Death can be a guest that arrives with prior warning too, so if you have a sick old relative who is in final stages of cancer, it’s pretty much a transparent warning of mental preparation to be ready for the ultimate result. We usually allow our minds to adjust to the knowledge and imagine how life will be if that person is no longer with us, we even become less selfish and want them to just be out of their suffering. In the end death seems like the best possible solution to this treacherous disease your dear one is going through. 

What happens when death announces itself completely uninformed and worse of all, it takes the life of a young healthy person. I believe there is no clear answer to this question. It’s Gods Will as we have read and heard time and time again. Can we honestly let God off the hook every time such a case is heard of? Excuse my inappropriate insinuation, I do have faith in Him and also pray for forgiveness. Nevertheless, it’s very difficult to accept death when those left behind are spouses, young children, unborn babies and parents. The rest of the world will mourn and make peace with the demise of this young person, but what about the immediate nucleus who have lost a key piece to their puzzle of life? A collapse occurs in the life of these individuals and the science of karma is questioned yet again. 

I agree that the person who passes away has completed his karmas in life and once their account is settled, it is time for them to go home. I believe in this spiritual scientific theory. I also believe good young people leave us far earlier than others and apparently the explanation for this is simply that God has sent pure souls down to earth in order to clear away darkness (which He has also created himself) and once these “pure” souls have completed their duties and cleansed enough on earth, they are called back to join God. I honestly try very hard to understand this theory and some days it makes perfect sense. Then there are days when I am just devastated and none of the spiritual seeps through and all I can think of to comfort myself is how our body and flesh also get tired and simply want to give up.

Can you control the mechanics of your body? I don’t think you can and what you really can never know is when the heart will stop beating and the rest of your organs just put their hands up. Medical science and spiritual science are forever playing a game of right and wrong. What one needs to understand is that even if a soul can live on, in the real world we cannot live without the physical body. We will miss the person in it’s entirety and the wife will miss her husbands body and his warmth that makes her feel safe at night, the child will miss the man who plays football with him, a mother will miss the conversations with her son and so on. 

Accepting death was never easy and it will continue to be the hardest truth of our lives. Are we ever prepared for death, well not at all? 

It may be true that the purpose for which the person who dies has been accomplished, and he / she has achieved all they desired on earth, but what remains unchanged is the contract they signed up for is still unfinished. God may have put a disclaimer on the contract, but there is never a waiver in the terms and conditions to say that one can leave as and when they please and no penalties will be incurred. There is always a loss and this is the loss I find exceedingly difficult to fathom. What wrong has the unborn child done, to come into this world and have a mother who is in grief and no father altogether. Is that the karma of an unborn child or is it the karma of the mother who is bearing the child in her womb? 

It is a great mystery we will never know in our living days and when we finally do discover our answers, well we are no longer able to share them with our loved ones.

From all this morbid talk I have learnt that life is indeed too short, far more beautiful than we think, you have no idea what’s waiting you at the end of the road and if we are unable to actually understand death in it’s result, should we not say all the things we cannot say if death has taken over?

I may die tomorrow, this is a fact and no one can question me on this statement. However, if I am alive today I wish to think that people will one day remember me as a good person. It’s funny how when we are alive, we are tirelessly trying to bring together all those people that will not shake hands on something, just because they choose not to get along. At my funeral though, you can bet anything that all those people and many more will be there and most probably be making heavy-hearted conversation at the cost of my death. So we come back in a circle once again. Love and Death are uninvited guests to a party of some sort, and bring people together on earth to celebrate or mourn. 

Don’t let your death be the celebration to bring your loved ones together. If God has a plan and he does bring good souls on earth to make them eliminate darkness from others lives, be that light and spread the love you may not be able to spread tomorrow; for who knows what’s in the offing! I do not wish to speak of you in past tense; I prefer to love you in the now.