Ready, Steady, Love

It was just after seven. All day I had felt a desperate need to be with him and I just couldn’t hold it any longer. I decided to go meet him. I was apprehensive, it had been a while since I’d seen him and I wasn’t too sure if he would welcome me in the same way or if I would still feel the same feeling. In the past there had been pain and also satisfaction. He worked me hard but always assured me the results would benefit both of us. I knew he was mad, mad because I had not returned his calls. He had shouted out to me so many times and all I could offer were feeble excuses. I had felt let down by him on many levels too, but this was partly my own recklessness. He had asked me to be careful but I had defied his instructions and just broken some rules. Today I felt strong, exceptionally strong, and prepared to face my plight with him.

I can’t believe it’s you? You look different.

How have you been?

Same old, the paths haven’t changed. Different people have taken over them and a void of others remains. What brings you here girl?

He had a way of making me feel guilty and needy at the same time. I suddenly remembered the reason why he was so brutally addictive. He was handsome and charming, even in his nonchalant demeanour he always offered me.

Well I’m here today, and ready to start again.

You don’t need my permission; I’ve always been here. I’m ready if you are.

I am.

Remember take it slow and just look at me when you feel the need to stop. Understood?

Yes.

We headed out nice and slow, I could feel his scent brushing my face. Deep breaths and steady steps were always the key. I looked ahead and focused, but I could feel he kept a watch on me. He was protective of me and this turned me on in more than many ways. The sun had set a while ago; city lights offering blinking fireflies accompanied us. The recent rain had left puddles that glistened under the moonlight and bounced reflections off the asphalt.

How are you feeling? Are you ready to take some speed?

In a short while, let me enjoy the stroll for a bit longer. I’ve missed you. I’ve missed this. My pulse was rapidly rising.

Whenever you are ready just show me the hand.

He’s mad; I can see why he would be. He gave me the whole summer, his time and everything he had. I can’t say I don’t love him; otherwise I would not be here today. I need to show him my strength and make him believe in me again.

Let’s go, give it to me faster.

Ok keep gliding and don’t forget to breathe. Loosen up, you need to relax or you will hurt yourself. You need to own the pavement; we need to own the pavement!  Trust me?

More than I trust myself.

Off we went! I was under his wings and could feel the motion increasing. I really was strong today. My body was responding in the right ways. The beat resonated in my ears and blocked out all the external distractions that usually slowed me down. There was a chill in the air, quite complimentary to the heat my body was letting off. He invisibly pushed me further, the leaves crunched beneath us and I could feel the moment coming closer.

You haven’t forgotten your technique girl, rusty on edge but we can work on the loose ends.

If only he you knew what he did to me? I began my race, pushing my limits only with the faith of knowing he was watching my every step.

Relax girl, you will burn your engine otherwise.  Why are you always in a rush to get things done? Dance with me, lets move together. In unison everything is better, stronger and lasts longer. Trust me?

More than I trust myself. And so we danced the final stride together. I could feel the breathing regulate, he provided me with the oxygen I had lacked all this time. Suddenly I was in my tunnel of perfection, breezing my way through the crowds of football fans, Sunday strollers and all the other beings that made way for my flight.

Don’t burn out now girl, stay a while longer, we can finish this together.

I’m tired I need to stop. I really can’t go on.

Yes you can, you are not tired. The weak get tired. You will finish when I tell you. His angry tone had a desperate agenda. He was scolding me for my absence, for letting him down all these months. I knew I could not let him down again, especially not now and not today. Brain and balance, brain and balance. I could here his words echoing in my ears. He was punching my fatigue away with his hypnosis. Brilliant, he was just brilliant.

And then it happened. The wall was broken, he embraced me and we crossed in unison. I had arrived, we had arrived.

Tomorrow same time?

I’d like that. 

The Night Circus

After dark I feel

the need to be awake

in the forbidden world

the world that shows

me my mirror

of hope, despair, glory

a true story

After dark civilization goes to bed

primitiveness reigns away

the ugly looks beautiful

and all are in unison

riches and rags

virgin to whore

we all go through

the same door

After dark the sun retires

the moon prevails

with a thousand blind eyes

one sees it all

one hears it all

tomorrow?

denial

After dark sounds sound

sounder

louder

sharper

the dark darkness

brighter

After dark emptiness befriends

intoxicating booze

lighter spirit

gently infused

bottled up emotions

the bottle helps

to confess

Lazy Sunday

Opening my eyes, relaxed I feel

Best day of the week

Yes it’s real

She tiptoes into bed with us

Yawned smile, no fuss

“No school today?”

Baby its Sunday

“Yay!”

It’s dark but light is inviting its way in subtly

“The sun is shining Mama”

Bright and steady

We all get ready

“No black shoes today?”

Baby its Sunday

Hats and sunglasses I say

No wind, no rain

No sickies, no pain

Brilliant beacons of light

Zooming scooter silhouettes

Flying birds doing pirouettes

“No salad today?”

Baby its Sunday

Forget the mundane

Sugar for the soul

Two large scoops

One minty

The other chocolatey

Topped with some nutty

No room today for subtlety

Droopy slouch

Lethargic inviting couch

Dosy dreamy winks

She looks at me and thinks

“Siesta today?”

Baby its Sunday

Nap away

Sunset crawls along

Nostalgic morning memories remain

Content sighs of the day are contained

“School tomorrow?”

In comes Monday

Just enjoy today 

Digital Kids

I was at Chiang Mai airport last April with my family, waiting to board a flight. I observed a child no older than one year of age sitting on the ground tapping anxiously on digital tablet. What shocked me wasn’t the fact that he had an expensive gadget in his hands and was manipulating it as if it were a robust toy truck. I simply wondered if I were to hand him over an actual book with pages, would he flip the pages or would he start to tap the book as well. The action of tapping, swiping or pressing your fingers over such gadgets has become an innate pattern of actions in most children who are exposed to the digital era of iEverything.

I shared this anecdote with a close friend and to my surprise she sent me a video from Youtube.com where a child was actually given a magazine and in the video one could observe how this child kept tapping and pressing the pages of the the magazine, with the expectation that a 3D image may appear or a sound would be heard. No doubt, it was very amusing to watch but one cannot escape from the harsh reality of digital invasion that is entering the lives of children so young. I am not against technology in fact I support the use of tablets and other such devices in schools, which are preparing our children for what awaits them. However, there are some serious repercussions of the premature introduction of such devices and this is the issue that I would like to address.

Are you one of those parents who struggles with trying to keep your iPad away from your children and often cannot even use it without the constant interruption of your child wanting to play games or watch videos on it? How do you remedy this problem? I know of homes where every child has their own iPad and we are talking about average two to three children per family. Shocking isn’t it? I’m not sure if my parents would have ever bought me a gift worth $500, only to later buy my brother one as well. These are extreme cases of course, but they do exist.

One of the most important areas affected by the use of digital gadgets and machines is the attention span of a human being. Let’s take the example of us looking for information online, the alluring world of Google. Google seems to have the answer to everything and sometimes a little too much I feel. When you make a search there are pages and pages of information that appear before us and it is true that we have mastered the art of scanning information rapidly and efficiently, but at the same time what we are receiving is information overload. The latter has a direct impact on our attention span and more importantly on our memory.

For a growing child it is extremely important to train the brain to focus at an early age, this enables them to memorise, be creative, solve problems and make sound decisions throughout their lives. However, the environment we grow up in has a strong influence on our attention span.

In earlier generations, children grew up reading a lot and this continues to be the encouraged activity proposed by schools even today, as it offers few distractions whilst you are doing it, and your channel of thoughts is entirely focused on the book. As technology has entered our lives, first with television and now with the Internet, our brains have slowly started to get wired differently. Television has offered visual stimuli that in turn has fragmented our attention and left little room for our imagination to work. The Internet offers only a world of distraction, ranging from pop ups, sponsored ads, page uploads, the possibility to open as many tabs as you like, interactive communication and last but not least the actual information one had decided to search in the first place!

Therefore, technology conditions our brains to pay attention to information very differently than reading. If we see toddlers, who cannot even read yet manipulating an iPad for distraction, how is a book going to offer them any attraction after a few years?

In the same way, if a student reads uninterrupted text, rather than one filled with hyperlinks and ads, he has better chances of quicker completion and understanding of what he was instructed to learn in the first place.

Nicholas Carr a technology writer uses a metaphor that describes the way in which technology conditions our brain differently than traditional reading. He offered the difference between scuba diving and jet skiing. Book reading is like scuba diving in which the diver is submerged in a quiet, visually restricted, slow-paced setting with few distractions and, as a result, is required to focus narrowly and think deeply on the limited information that is available to them. In contrast, using the Internet is like jet skiing, in which the jet skier is skimming along the surface of the water at high speed, exposed to a broad vista, surrounded by many distractions, and only able to focus fleetingly on any one thing.

My son often tells me that if I don’t understand something, I should ask Google. It’s interesting how right and wrong he is at the same time. What worries me is the fact that our kids will be experts at knowing where to retrieve the answers from, but not as smart to retain all the information gained. Let’s go one step further and address the tangibility of this information gained. If they do retain it and we are being positive about this, given that they will have to already filter so much in this process of accessing it in the first place, they will more than likely not be concerned about contemplating, thinking critically and being imaginative. These finer skills of the brain are what technology is suppressing, thanks to the information overload it provides us with.

Coming back to the toddler with the iPad, he can press, swipe and tap on it. The material an iPad is made of has no textures to feel or smell. Can you rip an iPad apart? I should hope not!

With a traditional book you can touch each page, smell the ink and the paper if it’s new or the musky smell after a book has become old, bend it and see the creases forming and even write in it. Furthermore, with a book you can even tear the pages, not that you would encourage this on a child. However, each page he tears will leave an impression on him and remind him of why he had that book in the first place. It offers a “higher-order” experience to the child, appropriate to the age of the child. An iPad will offer you an equally if not a more gratifying experience but only after you’ve experienced a traditional book first. Do you see my point here?

When your child learns how to write and you see them write their name for the first time, I’m pretty sure this has melted you down. Now imagine if your child had learnt to write using a touch-screen tablet to practice letter formations with his finger and shown you his name on a screen for the first time? Well it’s pretty cool but it’s not as cool as old school is it? 

My argument is the same again, it is important traditional methods such as handwriting lessons be instilled vigorously and these can be complemented with keyboarding classes. What should not be done is replace the traditional for the technological entirely. There is not enough history in technology to determine the effects it will or has already had on our children, so why are we playing with their brains and “wiring” them to a fashion we don’t know the tomorrow of?

I will personally treasure my little “I love you” post it notes from my son and daughter, because in a short blink I will see them holding a smartphone and sending the same message to their girl / boy friend! Call me old fashioned but I still write on paper everyday and there is a sense of self-expression that cannot be recreated using the best fonts or styles on any computer. The geeks will probably tell me there is some sort of App that allows you to match your own handwriting and create a personalized font. That would be incredibly incredible no doubt. In order to reach that stage of incredibleness you need to actually know what your font is and this is only done using pencil and paper. 

That Thing

That thing we both know
It’s shivering upon our lips
Words on edge
A gentle nudge

Eyes express it

Hide and seek
We play
We meet
Sometimes open
And yet so discreet

That thing we both know
It lingers in the air
Looking down
Peek up and stare
Cover my eyes
Intoxicating glare

That thing we both know
It’s written all over
Invisible ink
It’s just a feeling
You think?
Uncover it with a mere blink

That thing we both know
The world knows
It floats soundless
Yet breathless

That thing we both know
A dark cloud
Soft and cushioned
Suspending from above
Waiting to explode

Unspoken awareness
Untouched yet held
In the less is the more
A rhythm that needs no beat
A greater distance with so much heat

You know
And I know

If Only

Stay awhile, just be

Keep me company

Silently

I should let you go

You can’t stay

Just for me

If I could freeze time

I’d hold you here

Let you be

A part of me

You’ve done your time

I’ve given you mine

Still

I just wish

Pray, hope

An inch of scope

You are gone now

Empty room

Vacant spaces

Coffee cup stains

Sweep up dust

Scrub the counters

Pick up crumbs

Stop

Doors open and close behind

Muffled echoes I can hear

Just yesterday

You were here

You had to go

I understand

If only…

If only…

You’ll never know