My Safe Place

Shall we get sunbeds or just camp on the sand with our towels, he asked me as we were making our way to the beach. Sunbeds are more comfortable I thought to myself but truly it didn’t matter much, as long as we were just all together.

I spotted some free beds and we arranged ourselves there comfortably. After the sunblock ritual, armbands and allocating the beach toys to each one, I finally felt I could lie down and sink into my new novel. I had not even had a chance to take off my beach dress and beads of sweat were collecting beneath the soft cotton. It was only then I noticed how warm it was that day. A quick dip to cool off and then the novel would be devoured. I motioned to my son that I would be coming in with them. His broad smile was indication enough to inform me of how excited it made them that mama was heading to the water. I have always disliked the initial feeling of stepping on the shore and making contact with the chilled water, adjusting my body to the temperature. Once this drama was over I was swimming in towards my children, who were already having fights over who got to use the inflatable sunbed. I wished inside me that I could simply take authority over it and simply lie on it myself. As their mother I could use my powers and probably just get away with it. Of course I would never do that, the witch in me wasn’t ready to come out yet.

She welcomed me with a flamboyant splashing ceremony. This far from pleased me, when I was about to tell her off and my inner voice sarcastically told me off and reminded me I was on a beach and with a four year old, not lounging in Monaco with the pompous elite. I wiped off my sunglasses and proceeded to invade the sunbed and behave like one more child having fun. He crept up from behind and toppled me over. Clearly there was no difference between grown up and child today. Bearing a cheeky grin he burst out laughing, only re affirming my revenge. Vigorous splashing seemed apt as my vendetta and blurring his vision only made me gregariously laugh further.

We finally toned it down and I regained possession over the sunbed. She lay on top of me and we floated our weight in the calm waters. I felt safe, I felt at peace. Rewinding images from moments earlier made me smile and I decided this was my safe place. I captivated all the instances and created a mental shot.

Moments later I was absorbed by the words in my novel, but took a few minutes to look up and watch my family. Amidst the hundreds of people there, I had placed a spotlight on my three pillars and masked the rest of them out. The novel no longer seemed as interesting and I was in awe of the activity each one was conducting. She simply sat there and patiently searched for shells in the sand. The two boys had found way to play with the ball in the water and were busy volleying, catching and smashing. I knew I didn’t really want to be a part of the ball game and nor was I interested in looking for shells, yet observing each act was so soothing that I sub consciously let out a pleased grin and thanked Him.

We all need to remind ourselves of our safe place and if possible allow your mind to travel into that snug situation to escape those feelings of fear and trepidation.  I had found my own safe place and was never going to let go of it.