Wednesday, 2 April 2014

Window Shopping

In the afternoon it sometimes starts 
Some whistling
Name calling 
I want to block my ears and just keep walking
They are just window shopping 

I'm happy with my new hair
A pretty price I must pay to look pretty
A toll after that 
Don't even breathe the air
Don't you dare 
They are just window shopping 

Sat in my car
Burst into tears 
Away from those fears
They were just window shopping

Standing alone
In a public place 
Object of desire
An object to stare
I am trying not to care 
Existing is a nightmare 
But they are just window shopping

A busy bar
Having a good time 
Is my skirt too short
Or too tight 
Why this forever self fight 
After all they are just window shopping 

I walk to the loo
Confronted by another heinous coup 
Nauseating words I take in
Run and lock myself in
Relax, they are just window shopping 

A busy bus
Them, us, no fuss
A hand, a touch
It is a little too much?
Disgusted but okay
I'm like plasticine and clay
They are freely window shopping

It's not a physical assault
It's not a corporeal violation 
It's ME giving life to temptation
Encouraging flirtation 
They are just window shopping 

Mentally molested
Psychologically f****d
Keep calm
They are just window shopping

Monday, 31 March 2014

Sexo = Salud

Lo cierto es que al principio tuve mis reparos en tomar la decisión de escribir sobre éste tema. ¿Se te agrandan los ojos cuando lees la palabra SEXO verdad? Seguimos en crisis dicen la mayoría de los españoles y aunque nuestros políticos estén negados a ello, la realidad sigue siendo la búsqueda de ese elixir o panacea que nos solucione los problemas en estos tiempos de estrés, problemas de salud que van ligados con el estrés y lo que más nos inquieta después de una cierta edad.. el envejecer. Todo vale dinero y ahora más con los recortes en prácticamente todo. Pues el sexo milagrosamente puede dar remedio a la mayoría de estos problemas y como no producirte un placer al mismo tiempo. No creo que sea la solución para todos por supuesto, dado que uno de los requisitos básicos para poder disfrutar de este medicamento gratis es tener pareja. No obstante, me estoy enfocando en las parejas que a pesar de estar juntos muchos años, por distintos motivos dejan de hacer el amor con la misma regularidad que antes.

Estoy de acuerdo que es un tema bastante visto, tan potentemente plagado y al mismo tiempo tiene un toque tabú que por mucho que quieras hablar de ello, pues te limitas a tener “esa” conversación con tus chicas o colegas, y mucho menos con tu madre o vecina. Me estoy imaginando la cara de mi pobre madre cuando abra mi blog y se encuentre con esto.

En fin, tras haber pensado en ello, decidí lanzarme a investigar sobre los múltiples beneficios que conlleva esta práctica tan antigua y globalmente aceptada en todas las sociedades, ya sea de forma conservadora o exageradamente liberal.

Te acuerdas cuando antiguamente las parejas se casaban y tras unos meses de matrimonio, se decía “pero que bien te ha sentado el matrimonio hija, estás radiante. Te cuida muy bien tu marido”. Bueno entre otras cosas, le puedes dar gracias al sexo por este buen cuidado. Un estudio realizado por David Weeks (neuropsicólogo clínico del Royal Edinburgh Hospital) asegura que hacer el amor dos o más veces a la semana evita las arrugas, suaviza la piel, elimina manchas y impurezas del rostro. Esto se debe al oxigeno que se bombea por todo el cuerpo durante la práctica y en consecuencia las células más jóvenes de las capas más inferiores salen a la luz.

Además el sexo provoca una depuración en la piel, eliminando así las toxinas indeseadas. Evidentemente esto no tiene porqué beneficiar a la jovencitas si ellas ya lo están. Sin embargo, todas aquellas entre los 40-50 pueden frenar dramáticamente este proceso de envejecimiento y además sin ponerse cremitas o realizándose liftings.

Por otro lado, el sexo además incrementa los niveles de estrógeno tras un orgasmo, y que casualidad que esta es la misma hormona que promociona la brillantez y la suavidad tanto en el pelo como en la piel. La naturaleza más que nunca está presente dentro de nosotros simplemente hay que permitir que se desarrolle.

Hemos hablado de la belleza y las ventajas que aporta la práctica del sexo. Ahora hablemos de otra avenida que es la salud. Por muy guapa que seas y por mucho éxito que tengas con los hombres, el estrés del día a día lo vivimos todos. Sabias que en muchas comunidades de países anglosajones cuando más hay subidas de prácticas de sexo entre parejas es durante el periodo de duelo o al volver de un funeral.

Otro contraste muy importante es en culturas como de la India, está terminantemente prohibido acercarse de forma sexual a tu pareja, y mucho menos hacer el amor cuando están de luto en una familia. Lo cierto es que este duelo se remedia muy positivamente con la práctica del sexo, ya que el amiguito orgasmo vuelve a segregar endorfinas, que son lo más parecido a un analgésico natural o la hormona de la felicidad! Los síntomas incluyen una relajación completa del cuerpo y disminución de tensión en los músculos, principalmente en el cuello.

Pese a los beneficios que aporta el sexo sobre el estrés, las cifras demuestran una caída enorme en el tiempo invertido en la práctica y en los últimos dos años el tiempo dedicado al sexo se ha rebajado en un 30%, de dos horas semanales a tan solo 34 minutos. (Pfizer 2012)

Estoy de acuerdo que lo más habitual es que no te apetezca mucho o totalmente cero que te hagan el amor cuando estás disgustada o con malestar general. Sin embargo, quizás sea el mejor antídoto para remediar ese día asqueroso, tanto para ti como tu pareja. ¡Ten lo en cuenta la próxima vez! La sexóloga Inmaculada Molero lo recalca “el gran poder que tiene la actividad sexual en el fortalecimiento emocional y en la autoestima de la persona”

¿Sabías que los hombres producen más testosterona de lo habitual durante una actividad sexual? Esto igual no es novedad pero hacia lo que voy yo es el beneficio de esta hormona. La testosterona ayuda a fortalecer los huesos y en muchos casos a prevenir la osteoporosis.  

Por otra parte, volviendo al oxigeno que se bombea por la sangre durante esta actividad, es la principal respuesta o medicamento que recetan hoy en día para prevenir demencia. Lo que hace este oxigeno es aumentar el riego sanguíneo en el cerebro, justo el efecto que uno obtiene con una actividad sexual. Inmaculada Fernández, presidenta de la Sociedad Andaluza de Neuropsicología asegura que la actividad sexual activa los ganglios basales y el hipocampo, ambos relacionados con la memoria y las emociones.  De hecho se ha mostrado que practicar el sexo es mucho más efectivo que unos sudokos para evitar el Alzheimer. Pues mira, ya sabes que aconsejarle a tu pariente que padece de esta terrible enfermedad. Con mucho humor seguro que le convences hacia esta placentera alternativa.

Hasta ahora hemos comentado sobre las ventajas estéticas, psicológicas y también los beneficios de las hormonas segregadas a nivel femenino y masculino y el oxigeno en el cerebro. Ahora partiremos de una visión de fitness.

Yo tengo obsesión por los gimnasios, pero te puedo asegurar que el sexo también ofrece alguna que otra solución para ponerte en forma. Ojo, el sexo no te hace adelgazar, y tampoco que deja el cuerpo diez. Sin embargo, calorías entre 100-125 se pueden quemar por cada hora de actividad. Comparándolo a una sesión de spinning es miserable, no obstante se ejercitan los principales grupos musculares y a su vez el riego sanguíneo y la oxigenación bombea mejor el corazón. Este ultimo dato va a favor de los hombres de más de 40 años, ayudando a prevenir infartos.

No estoy segura si te he podido convencer sobre los múltiples beneficios de la actividad sexual y si además podrás practicarlo más de dos veces a la semana de forma regular para poder comprobar los cambios.

Lo que si quiero subrayar es la importancia que tiene esta parte en la dinámica y el buen rollo de cualquier pareja. Yo hablo solamente de mi propia experiencia y llevo casi trece años casada y os puedo asegurar que ha habido muchos altibajos en este terreno. Los motivos pueden ser varios, desde tener hijos, el estrés, yo sentirme gorda y fea, problemas de salud, las migrañas o incluso… no te lo pierdas.. intrusión de familia.

Lo que pasa en todos estos casos es que esa una vez que encuentras para hacer el amor con tu pareja, te das cuenta lo viva y lo esplendida que es la vida y sobre todo lo maravilloso que es tu propia vida con tu marido o tu pareja. La clave es en la calidad del sexo y no en la cantidad.

Es más importante esa noche mágica que varias noches obligadas. El sexo desde luego es la panacea, el elixir, la píldora cura lo todo y sobre todo la solución a muchos problemas, como bien he detallado en este articulo. Pero, solo lo será si existe un deseo por ambas partes y se considera como sentimiento y no como una tarea.

Por último quiero compartir otro dato muy curioso que también promociona la actividad sexual. Estudios realizados por la British Medical Journal concluyeron que uno de los beneficios del sexo es que potencia el olfato. Todo gracias a la prolactina, que ayuda a impulsar el desarrollo de nuevas neuronas del bulbo olfatorio, así abriendo puertas para poder atender a nuevos olores. 

Mucha suerte a todos y hagáis lo que hagáis, un exceso de sexo nunca será malo, por lo contrario su ausencia puede que sea perjudicial.









Tuesday, 25 March 2014

Impenetrable Willpower

Before I start preaching my story to you, let’s get one thing very straight. I am no fitness expert, I am no nutrition guru and I most definitely do not have bulletproof willpower when it comes to a lot of things in life. I will have my glass of wine on a Tuesday afternoon, I will eat my chocolate bar on a Monday morning, mourning off the weekend gone by and I will also pretend my 45 minutes at the gym were well spent, except all I really did was procrastinate around the weights area and lamely warm on the elliptical for 10 minutes. Oh and my biggest confession, I will also eat a healthy salad for lunch and follow it up with a good number of Oreo cookies for tea. I will not reveal the number of Oreos, because I may scandalise you. Hell who cares; I have eaten up to 15 cookies in one shot.  I hope this is making many of you feel better and I’m praying my far from perfect image is comforting your lazy ass on the sofa.

So after this self- abusive introduction to myself, I want to tell you some discoveries I have made off late. These methods were initially just for fun and I was goofing around (again at the gym) on Pinterest. I confess I love Pinterest, but have recently seen the perks of using this very useful social media site. It all started with a perfectly ridiculous 100 pushups in 30 days challenge. I am a very ambitious person, my ambitions throw words like “realistic” and “do-able” out the window, but I can’t help this flaw in my imperfect self. I decided to embark on this fitness challenge and only told a couple of people about this adventure I had embarked on. My personal trainer being one of those people, who decided it would be fun to monitor my progress every week. Oh shit! Now I was in deep trouble. I realised I could no longer let her down. Friday would come and even if I had missed Monday – Thursday pushups, I was answerable to her and the number of push-ups that corresponded that day. Let me tell you I wanted to kill myself, being unable to perform to the standard expected of me. Naturally had I done my homework, I would not be suffering like a dog every Friday.

After two weeks I had an awakening and decided it was time to end my personal ridicule, because I was no longer going to subject myself to shame in front of my trainer. I did my homework and on Friday performed like a rock star. I had experienced impenetrable willpower. It was astounding to see how being answerable to another person was turning out to be my drive. I had no reason to impress her, but I wanted to because it was my initiative, my challenge and my goal, from the very beginning. How was I going to let my own self down?

We all wake up on Monday mornings with huge goals, an invincible attitude and even have a super hero swagger that accompanies us till about 15:00 hours. What happens after that? Well, I won’t tell you what happens, as I too have been on the dark side. Are you stuck in that vicious loop like being stuck on the same Candy Crush level? Damn it… it’s time you switched off the game and played a new game!

The one thing in common I have with you, the reader is our desire and intention to make some changes. These changes can be fitness related, food related or even general lifestyle changes. So here is what I will tell you now, find your group of individuals who are not scared to embark on this saga.

I finished my 100 pushups challenge and felt invincible, accomplished and above all was hungry for more challenges. I realised my drive to get things DONE was to embrace a challenge, which kept me bound to a time frame, discipline to set a daily goal and above all I was excited about sharing my everyday small steps with someone. The latter provided me with motivation, a push on the days I was low and above all not to lose sight of my direction.

The new challenge was 40 real pushups in 30 days. I knew this was going to be hard, so I decided to make it public. It sounds ridiculous to make public, something that you are not even sure you will finish. Well, you see that’s the catch. Being answerable was the catch; not fearing failure was the catch! I had a few friends who decided they would join me in this challenge. We did this together for a month, a couple dropped out, I missed a few days too, we moaned about how much it hurt and ultimately what kept me going was the fact that I was being motivated by these wonderful women, I too was answerable to them as I was the initiator and it was my responsibility!

Once this challenge was over I saw changes. My arms were more defined, my tone was visible and the most amazing difference I saw in myself was belief. I had started believing in myself and knowing that short spurts of daily discipline over a period of time end up rewarding you with amazing results. Rome was not built in a day and nor was it built by one person either. Take a little help from your friends was my new thing!

I feel if you give and take motivation, it can only be a positive thing right? I have recently started another challenge and this time round we have eleven women from across the world. I don’t know how this one will turn out, but what I do know is that my discipline will only become more bulletproof and I know for a fact that at least one woman from the whole group will feel a difference in her body. Knowing this, is also a factor that excels me to further improve my own self. I have been told I am a natural motivator, I am still doubting this compliment. What I do know is that I have enough intention and ambition to shift a thought process on something I believe in.

So, have I shifted your ideals towards pursuing a group challenge? I am not being fitness specific; if what you need is a house cleaning challenge; well by all means go for it. Where do you think the #100dayshappychallenge stems from? I’m just saying :)


In conclusion I want to say that nothing that’s worth in the long run can be achieved in one day. Most things take weeks, if not months. Obviously this time factor is what puts many of us off and we tend to get bored or lose sight of our goals. However, as human beings we are attracted by each other and our mutual energies. Today I may be the one shower you with positive energy, but perhaps on day 23 you will be the one to rain on me with your happy vibes. Together we can create impenetrable willpower.

Wednesday, 12 March 2014

Email or Phone call?

Is our society losing sight of effective communication due to the global domination of electronic communication? I am referring to the decision between making that good old phone call vs. sending out an e-mail or text. A telephone call is live instant communication between two parties, through a telephone network using voice. An email is written communication between two parties, sent and received instantly. Therefore, the main difference between a call and an email is voice vs. text.

With the increased use and legal enforcement of emailing in the professional world, it unequivocally has many advantages that we will discuss next. Email has without a doubt overshadowed the option for a phone call, especially in many cases even amongst the youth. A British study conducted by independent media regulator Ofcom found that among 16- to 24-year-olds, phone calls are being superseded by texts or other e-messages. Per the research, 96 percent use some form of text-based communication -- either though social networks (73 percent) or through traditional texting (90 percent) -- on a daily basis. By comparison, only 67 percent of that age group talks on the phone daily. Overall, total time spent on the phone declined 5 percent for Britons of all ages, the first such drop since the 1990s, according to The Guardian.

Advantages of email:
1.     An email is cost free, instant and global. One can send an email anywhere in the world at any time of the day and not pay a penny.
2.     The recipient usually receives this email instantly, additionally enabling both parties to document their communication and keeping a detailed track of the entire communication process.
3.     An email is also wonderful for those who get stuck with words over the phone, as it allows them to plan what they will be writing and use the right vocabulary to express their needs or concerns.

The difference between an email and a text message is the formality of their nature. An email is technically more formal and should be written with the correct punctuation and grammar, as one would with a handwritten letter. A text message usually gives margin for being informal and brief.

According to research firm The Radicati Group, Inc., in 2013 there were:
+ 929 million business email accounts
+ 507 billion emails sent per day
+ An average of 78 emails received and 37 sent per user, per day. These figures show a lot of emails being exchanged, but how productive are we really being with this exchange?

There is a specific time and situation one should communicate via email or text. The problem we are seeing today is this confusion in the decision of which technology to use, from the myriad offered to us.

I will give you an example. Most of us own a smart phone and have enabled on this our texting applications, email accounts, voice enabled calls and of course we also have our social media accounts embedded in mobile format. Let me give you some examples of the misuse of these methods. I have missed my lunch appointment because I was notified of the change in venue through the Facebook messenger chat only an hour before my lunch meeting, been wished on my birthday on an Instagram picture and seen it three days later, asked to meet someone for a professional meeting via text and accidently deleted the text message so I no longer had the details, then also received an email to schedule a meeting which ended up being a thread of up to eight messages to decide which time mutually suits us both. Can you see the irregular and inappropriate use of these methods of communication in some of them?

Have you noticed there is not ONE phone call made? Wouldn’t you agree that many of the above stated incidents could have been remedied by that one quick phone call?

 The underlying problem we face today is simply lack of technological education to understand when it is appropriate to use a certain method and added to that this incredible fear for the telephone. We all have smart phones to make our lives smarter, but sadly the function we least use on our “smart” phones is actually the voice call. How smart are we really being?

I have described the advantages of using e-mail and also the alternatives to e-mail that all belong to the umbrella called social media. All these options have a common factor; they do not include voice and are simply visual text.

Let’s address the advantages of a phone call or if you prefer to be more modern: Skype, Viber and the likes.

1.     The traditional phone call can be expensive, but the alternatives have enabled a call to be practically cost free, especially thanks to Internet calls.
2.     A phone call enables you to negotiate more freely, especially in the business world.
3.     Feedback in a phone call is quicker and this obviously saves time (endless email threads).
4.     A phone call can actually be more casual and break the ice between two business parties, who perhaps via email have a more formal barrier.
5.     In a phone call you can gauge the tone of the receiving end and monitor your questions more carefully, as well as ask new questions that could stem from the current conversation.

Now obviously the situation none of us like is that of a cold call and luckily the email has salvaged us from the trauma which otherwise makes us sweat and stress for obvious reasons. It can be hard to approach someone for the first time through a phone call.

Imagine if their accent is hard for you to understand, they come across cold because that’s just how they are on the phone, their name is ambiguous and you actually cannot tell if it’s a man or woman you will be calling (yes this has happened to me). In a nutshell, a cold call is the worst-case scenario for anyone in the professional world, unless you receive specific training for this and it forms part of your job description.

However, let’s say you meet a new potential customer at a trade fair and have to follow up business with them. It is statistically proven that a formal re introduction email followed by a phone call shortly after has higher positive results than an email with a reply in return (that may take longer as we do not know how long one takes to reply to their emails). Remember you already “sort of” know your customer and can tailor your call far more effectively than write it on email.

I was recently in a situation where I was approaching several institutions for a project, and effectively I was the one in “need” of help. My first approach was actually a cold call where I aimed to get the name of a specific person I was supposed to email. This is very important, as you can address your email to a person and not just an email address. After my email I waited a few days, after which if there was no reply from the receiving end, I picked up the phone and made that cold call or as I call it warm call. I had already sent out the information on my project, so my introduction was formally done. This warm call was my follow up, and I preferred to a follow up email.

The results were outstanding! I learnt that a few of these people had actually not received the email and this was great since I had the opportunity to pitch to them over the phone and even get a personal appointment with them, I learnt that my voice convinced them about the project, which words through an email could not do, so persistence can be effective vocally. Finally, I learnt that if there was a rejection towards my project proposal, it was due to circumstances nothing to do with my actual idea, but simply bad timing with the institution. The latter comforts you, as you realise rejection must not be taken personally.

When we hear an advert on the radio and when we are sold the same product through an email, what usually remains in your memory more? The element of voice is so important to grab someone’s attention and although it is far more expensive to advertise on the radio, a phone call these days is pretty much free.

When one types they are not processing words, rather distributing information. However, when you are talking you are aware of your tone and can use vocabulary to add spark to your conversation. An email extinguishes the linguistic skill of adding colour to your language.

Although I have dissected the email to it’s last cell, I do have to stress the importance of this form of communication as a starting point of communication and how imperative it is to document data, especially on a legal level. Nevertheless, it serves more importantly as that: a paperless, inexpensive and efficient method of data documentation.

Human verbal negotiation has always shown positive results in almost all fields of the professional world, not to mention in our personal and social lives. I have addressed the excessive use of social media in one of my previous articles; http://goldieuttamchandani.blogspot.com.es/2013/06/social-media-addicted-or-not.html#.UyDJxaVicds but the more serious problem lies in the misuse and inappropriate application of these methods for basic communication.

A phone call is has been addressed as old fashioned and traditional compared to an email, but the truth is it’s basically a phone call and cannot be replaced by anything, especially not an email. Let’s try to say “call me on my phone” rather than “text me on my phone”, and perhaps a call can make that sexy comeback again.









Sunday, 2 March 2014