Impenetrable Willpower

Before I start preaching my story to you, let’s get one thing very straight. I am no fitness expert, I am no nutrition guru and I most definitely do not have bulletproof willpower when it comes to a lot of things in life. I will have my glass of wine on a Tuesday afternoon, I will eat my chocolate bar on a Monday morning, mourning off the weekend gone by and I will also pretend my 45 minutes at the gym were well spent, except all I really did was procrastinate around the weights area and lamely warm on the elliptical for 10 minutes. Oh and my biggest confession, I will also eat a healthy salad for lunch and follow it up with a good number of Oreo cookies for tea. I will not reveal the number of Oreos, because I may scandalise you. Hell who cares; I have eaten up to 15 cookies in one shot.  I hope this is making many of you feel better and I’m praying my far from perfect image is comforting your lazy ass on the sofa.

So after this self- abusive introduction to myself, I want to tell you some discoveries I have made off late. These methods were initially just for fun and I was goofing around (again at the gym) on Pinterest. I confess I love Pinterest, but have recently seen the perks of using this very useful social media site. It all started with a perfectly ridiculous 100 pushups in 30 days challenge. I am a very ambitious person, my ambitions throw words like “realistic” and “do-able” out the window, but I can’t help this flaw in my imperfect self. I decided to embark on this fitness challenge and only told a couple of people about this adventure I had embarked on. My personal trainer being one of those people, who decided it would be fun to monitor my progress every week. Oh shit! Now I was in deep trouble. I realised I could no longer let her down. Friday would come and even if I had missed Monday – Thursday pushups, I was answerable to her and the number of push-ups that corresponded that day. Let me tell you I wanted to kill myself, being unable to perform to the standard expected of me. Naturally had I done my homework, I would not be suffering like a dog every Friday.

After two weeks I had an awakening and decided it was time to end my personal ridicule, because I was no longer going to subject myself to shame in front of my trainer. I did my homework and on Friday performed like a rock star. I had experienced impenetrable willpower. It was astounding to see how being answerable to another person was turning out to be my drive. I had no reason to impress her, but I wanted to because it was my initiative, my challenge and my goal, from the very beginning. How was I going to let my own self down?

We all wake up on Monday mornings with huge goals, an invincible attitude and even have a super hero swagger that accompanies us till about 15:00 hours. What happens after that? Well, I won’t tell you what happens, as I too have been on the dark side. Are you stuck in that vicious loop like being stuck on the same Candy Crush level? Damn it… it’s time you switched off the game and played a new game!

The one thing in common I have with you, the reader is our desire and intention to make some changes. These changes can be fitness related, food related or even general lifestyle changes. So here is what I will tell you now, find your group of individuals who are not scared to embark on this saga.

I finished my 100 pushups challenge and felt invincible, accomplished and above all was hungry for more challenges. I realised my drive to get things DONE was to embrace a challenge, which kept me bound to a time frame, discipline to set a daily goal and above all I was excited about sharing my everyday small steps with someone. The latter provided me with motivation, a push on the days I was low and above all not to lose sight of my direction.

The new challenge was 40 real pushups in 30 days. I knew this was going to be hard, so I decided to make it public. It sounds ridiculous to make public, something that you are not even sure you will finish. Well, you see that’s the catch. Being answerable was the catch; not fearing failure was the catch! I had a few friends who decided they would join me in this challenge. We did this together for a month, a couple dropped out, I missed a few days too, we moaned about how much it hurt and ultimately what kept me going was the fact that I was being motivated by these wonderful women, I too was answerable to them as I was the initiator and it was my responsibility!

Once this challenge was over I saw changes. My arms were more defined, my tone was visible and the most amazing difference I saw in myself was belief. I had started believing in myself and knowing that short spurts of daily discipline over a period of time end up rewarding you with amazing results. Rome was not built in a day and nor was it built by one person either. Take a little help from your friends was my new thing!

I feel if you give and take motivation, it can only be a positive thing right? I have recently started another challenge and this time round we have eleven women from across the world. I don’t know how this one will turn out, but what I do know is that my discipline will only become more bulletproof and I know for a fact that at least one woman from the whole group will feel a difference in her body. Knowing this, is also a factor that excels me to further improve my own self. I have been told I am a natural motivator, I am still doubting this compliment. What I do know is that I have enough intention and ambition to shift a thought process on something I believe in.

So, have I shifted your ideals towards pursuing a group challenge? I am not being fitness specific; if what you need is a house cleaning challenge; well by all means go for it. Where do you think the #100dayshappychallenge stems from? I’m just saying :)

In conclusion I want to say that nothing that’s worth in the long run can be achieved in one day. Most things take weeks, if not months. Obviously this time factor is what puts many of us off and we tend to get bored or lose sight of our goals. However, as human beings we are attracted by each other and our mutual energies. Today I may be the one shower you with positive energy, but perhaps on day 23 you will be the one to rain on me with your happy vibes. Together we can create impenetrable willpower.

Perfectly Flawed

A moment

Email or Phone call?

Is our society losing sight of effective communication due to the global domination of electronic communication? I am referring to the decision between making that good old phone call vs. sending out an e-mail or text. A telephone call is live instant communication between two parties, through a telephone network using voice. An email is written communication between two parties, sent and received instantly. Therefore, the main difference between a call and an email is voice vs. text.

With the increased use and legal enforcement of emailing in the professional world, it unequivocally has many advantages that we will discuss next. Email has without a doubt overshadowed the option for a phone call, especially in many cases even amongst the youth. A British study conducted by independent media regulator Ofcom found that among 16- to 24-year-olds, phone calls are being superseded by texts or other e-messages. Per the research, 96 percent use some form of text-based communication -- either though social networks (73 percent) or through traditional texting (90 percent) -- on a daily basis. By comparison, only 67 percent of that age group talks on the phone daily. Overall, total time spent on the phone declined 5 percent for Britons of all ages, the first such drop since the 1990s, according to The Guardian.

Advantages of email:

1.     An email is cost free, instant and global. One can send an email anywhere in the world at any time of the day and not pay a penny.

2.     The recipient usually receives this email instantly, additionally enabling both parties to document their communication and keeping a detailed track of the entire communication process.

3.     An email is also wonderful for those who get stuck with words over the phone, as it allows them to plan what they will be writing and use the right vocabulary to express their needs or concerns.

The difference between an email and a text message is the formality of their nature. An email is technically more formal and should be written with the correct punctuation and grammar, as one would with a handwritten letter. A text message usually gives margin for being informal and brief.

According to research firm The Radicati Group, Inc., in 2013 there were:
+ 929 million business email accounts
+ 507 billion emails sent per day
+ An average of 78 emails received and 37 sent per user, per day. These figures show a lot of emails being exchanged, but how productive are we really being with this exchange?

There is a specific time and situation one should communicate via email or text. The problem we are seeing today is this confusion in the decision of which technology to use, from the myriad offered to us.

I will give you an example. Most of us own a smart phone and have enabled on this our texting applications, email accounts, voice enabled calls and of course we also have our social media accounts embedded in mobile format. Let me give you some examples of the misuse of these methods. I have missed my lunch appointment because I was notified of the change in venue through the Facebook messenger chat only an hour before my lunch meeting, been wished on my birthday on an Instagram picture and seen it three days later, asked to meet someone for a professional meeting via text and accidently deleted the text message so I no longer had the details, then also received an email to schedule a meeting which ended up being a thread of up to eight messages to decide which time mutually suits us both. Can you see the irregular and inappropriate use of these methods of communication in some of them?

Have you noticed there is not ONE phone call made? Wouldn’t you agree that many of the above stated incidents could have been remedied by that one quick phone call?

 The underlying problem we face today is simply lack of technological education to understand when it is appropriate to use a certain method and added to that this incredible fear for the telephone. We all have smart phones to make our lives smarter, but sadly the function we least use on our “smart” phones is actually the voice call. How smart are we really being?

I have described the advantages of using e-mail and also the alternatives to e-mail that all belong to the umbrella called social media. All these options have a common factor; they do not include voice and are simply visual text.

Let’s address the advantages of a phone call or if you prefer to be more modern: Skype, Viber and the likes.

1.     The traditional phone call can be expensive, but the alternatives have enabled a call to be practically cost free, especially thanks to Internet calls.

2.     A phone call enables you to negotiate more freely, especially in the business world.

3.     Feedback in a phone call is quicker and this obviously saves time (endless email threads).

4.     A phone call can actually be more casual and break the ice between two business parties, who perhaps via email have a more formal barrier.

5.     In a phone call you can gauge the tone of the receiving end and monitor your questions more carefully, as well as ask new questions that could stem from the current conversation.

Now obviously the situation none of us like is that of a cold call and luckily the email has salvaged us from the trauma which otherwise makes us sweat and stress for obvious reasons. It can be hard to approach someone for the first time through a phone call.

Imagine if their accent is hard for you to understand, they come across cold because that’s just how they are on the phone, their name is ambiguous and you actually cannot tell if it’s a man or woman you will be calling (yes this has happened to me). In a nutshell, a cold call is the worst-case scenario for anyone in the professional world, unless you receive specific training for this and it forms part of your job description.

However, let’s say you meet a new potential customer at a trade fair and have to follow up business with them. It is statistically proven that a formal re introduction email followed by a phone call shortly after has higher positive results than an email with a reply in return (that may take longer as we do not know how long one takes to reply to their emails). Remember you already “sort of” know your customer and can tailor your call far more effectively than write it on email.

I was recently in a situation where I was approaching several institutions for a project, and effectively I was the one in “need” of help. My first approach was actually a cold call where I aimed to get the name of a specific person I was supposed to email. This is very important, as you can address your email to a person and not just an email address. After my email I waited a few days, after which if there was no reply from the receiving end, I picked up the phone and made that cold call or as I call it warm call. I had already sent out the information on my project, so my introduction was formally done. This warm call was my follow up, and I preferred to a follow up email.

The results were outstanding! I learnt that a few of these people had actually not received the email and this was great since I had the opportunity to pitch to them over the phone and even get a personal appointment with them, I learnt that my voice convinced them about the project, which words through an email could not do, so persistence can be effective vocally. Finally, I learnt that if there was a rejection towards my project proposal, it was due to circumstances nothing to do with my actual idea, but simply bad timing with the institution. The latter comforts you, as you realise rejection must not be taken personally.

When we hear an advert on the radio and when we are sold the same product through an email, what usually remains in your memory more? The element of voice is so important to grab someone’s attention and although it is far more expensive to advertise on the radio, a phone call these days is pretty much free.

When one types they are not processing words, rather distributing information. However, when you are talking you are aware of your tone and can use vocabulary to add spark to your conversation. An email extinguishes the linguistic skill of adding colour to your language.

Although I have dissected the email to it’s last cell, I do have to stress the importance of this form of communication as a starting point of communication and how imperative it is to document data, especially on a legal level. Nevertheless, it serves more importantly as that: a paperless, inexpensive and efficient method of data documentation.

Human verbal negotiation has always shown positive results in almost all fields of the professional world, not to mention in our personal and social lives. I have addressed the excessive use of social media in one of my previous articles; http://goldieuttamchandani.blogspot.com.es/2013/06/social-media-addicted-or-not.html#.UyDJxaVicds but the more serious problem lies in the misuse and inappropriate application of these methods for basic communication.

A phone call is has been addressed as old fashioned and traditional compared to an email, but the truth is it’s basically a phone call and cannot be replaced by anything, especially not an email. Let’s try to say “call me on my phone” rather than “text me on my phone”, and perhaps a call can make that sexy comeback again.

Universal Soul

One

Anti-racism week on Thoughts Translated. Let's all blend into one color and be One. 

What is love?

Let me tell you what I think love is. Love is your mum saving you a portion of her "paratha" because she knows how much you wouldn't otherwise have it if she made you a full one. Love is your son sending his first ever email to you. Love is the coffee shop attendant grilling your sandwich for you even when her other customers are waiting. Love is your domestic helper vacuuming your bedroom twice in one day, so you won't suffer from your dust allergies. Love is you learning how to box stitch from a YouTube video just so you can make the perfect bracelet for your daughter. Love is being called fatty all your life and fighting about it too. Love is hanging up on your mum and calling her back. Love is saying very mean things and later apologizing. Love is smiling, then crying and then smiling again. Love is you calling your husband up to ask where he is and he's just walked through the door. Love is your best friend giving you a postcard with a bicycle and a heart on it.. Because she knows. Love is saying those three words without really saying them, but showing them. 

Love is everywhere, anywhere, here, there and in all of us. Why do we need a day especially to celebrate this extraordinarily ordinary phenomenon? Well why not? If we celebrated love everyday, like the cynics put it, how would we value love? Do you want it to be your birthday everyday? 

Valentines Day is commercial, tacky, corny, cliched and yes it's also made up. Nevertheless I believe it addresses a very fundamental energy that we all survive on. If we were to say "well don't love, you might get hurt". We may as well say "don't live, you might die."

Love is pure, real, full of pain and pleasure. It's bitter sweet, salty and can be poisonous too.  Love is something people are willing to die for ... Literally. Don't underestimate it's power and celebrate it, for we are all lovers on this earth.

As my daughter put it to me this afternoon, "Valemtimes day is when we must give everyone lots of hugs and kisses and tell them how much we love them". Are you going to argue with that? No, I didn't think so :)

Happy Valemtimes Day readers. Love from Thoughts Translated xoxo