13

It’s gone away in a blink this year that was 2013. I admit in the pit of my stomach I did know 13 was going to be a lucky year for me, despite my superstitious dislike for the number in general. Nevertheless, unequivocally 13 was the year for Thoughts Translated. A dream that was a size and half too big for my petite structure has embodied me like a Lycra glove and kept me busy for the past few months and hopefully many more to come. Thank you to Him for leading the way and thank you to all those beings that smothered their energy all over me and continue to inject me with daily inspiration.

Aside from the obvious boom in my life, I like to reflect as we all do on a year that has gone by and offer my Thoughts to all of you.

As with all my years, 13 taught me a lot. I have often addressed friendships in my writing and given the highest regard to this relationship after family. I have lauded my own fortune and bragged about how lucky I am to have certain individuals in my life. 13 has possibly been the biggest test of my life as far as this subject goes. I have written about the theory that encompasses this relationship but 13 made me live a lot of what I actually wrote about. It’s been a live journey where I was the protagonist of peaks of pain and pleasure. I learnt that people don’t actually change; the truth is we just get to know them better. This is applicable in the good and the bad. In the end what I concluded was that one can never really know anyone that well and therefore you must never get totally naked for anyone unless they are prepared to accept and love your soul. I speak in a bitter tone, but in all honesty the truth is often a bitter pill, but once you’ve swallowed it, the effects it has on you as a person are filling you with peace and harmony.

Continuing with peace and harmony, I learnt in 13 that your mind and body need to be in sync. You cannot live with your body if your mind is not happy with it. I apply this theory to all aspects. If you feel you look fat, it’s your mind that’s sending those thoughts in you and therefore you mistreat your body to try and lose weight. You may control it in the short term, but eventually you gain it back because the mind is never completely happy. Similarly, if you are a sports person and push your body harder than it can handle, again your mind is playing the power game and it’s all good to push your limits and try to be super woman, but it’s also sensible to listen to your body and press the stop or pause button at the right time. You have a body that you must feed in the physical sense, but you must also feed it positive energy. This positive energy only comes from your mind. When the body or mind collapse, the other is left in the limbo and it’s very hard to survive just on one.

13 showed me that second chances are golden. We all make so many mistakes everyday, and we quite often learn from them too. Ideally one would not make the same mistake twice but a lot of us do. In our relationships we tend to hurt those that we love the most and if life gives you a second chance to remedy this hurt, consider it a blessing.

13 asked me to pay attention to the details and spend time alone. You know when magic occurs; it tends to occur silently and can either be at super sonic speed or at snails pace. Either way the key is to pay attention. I saw my nephew walk in a matter of seconds, I produced a book in silence, I went back to running by carefully analysing my defects. It is very important to spend this time alone and separate yourself from the solutions that the world offers you. A tailor made solution will always fit and last longer. Therefore, giving yourself this time alone helps you to create the magic for yourself and at the same time you can focus with your personal lens and not the universal world lens.

13 took off many masks. Positive thinking is paramount and I stick by it. However, often we engineer ourselves so harshly to believe in the positive of everything that we forget to actually believe it’s okay to not be okay.  This trap we fall into makes us wear a mask. Layers get added on until one day we actually collapse from the toxic layers of plastic you have applied on yourself. There’s nothing wrong in failing, because one only fails after they have tried, and trying is better than giving up.

13 was an extremely technological year for me, I mastered the art of being active on more than six social media networks and using their benefits to increase my blog followers. In this process I observed the artificial nature of online marketing and the disastrous effects it can have on inter personal relationships. I openly admit to loathing IM and all such forms of communication. I use it because otherwise I would be off the wagon of survival in this day and age. Nevertheless, I personally make sure I speak or have a face-to-face conversation with all those people who matter to me and find the time to do it.

13 taught me how to let go and forgive myself. Giving to others is my motto but I know I can only give so much. Therefore, I give what I can, take what they can offer me and forgive them and myself at the end of it. It’s a simple mathematical equation that in the end always leaves you with no regrets. Say sorry, say thank you and smile.

In 13 I discovered how knowing yourself better will help you to know others. I think I am still discovering myself actually; finally coming to terms with my real curls, my not so perfect figure, my weakness for old Bollywood music, my inability to have a cup of coffee at home and always at a coffee shop, my secret love for retro book stores, my desire to buy all the sports shoes in the world, the kick I get from defying my comfort zone and so many other unpublished secrets that each of us has.

All in all 13 started off slow and steady, gave me some good tests mid year, slowed down and relaxed me fairly well towards the summer, elated me so much in the autumn and simultaneously kicked me hard in the ass towards the end of the year. Thank you 13 for your lessons, gifts, warnings, eye openings and above all endings that promise new beginnings.

I read last week that the new trend for 2014 is not to have resolutions but to have a theme. A theme you stick by and follow all your plans bearing in mind certain thumb rules that qualify your theme. Can we all do that for 14? I will try my best and what I promise is to keep sharing Thoughts, good or bad. Happy New Year to all and thank you!

PS. 13 also taught me that 14 is on it's way and if you were not able to do something this year, don't give it up and pursue it in the new year. :)

Spaces

Does the sky complain when the clouds invade heavily on her?
She just stands with dignity, allowing the sun to shelter her with warmth
The clouds are not at fault
They spend their life being pushed around
De burden their sorrows by giving us rain

Does the sun complain when he must depart the sky to allow room for the moon?
Two lovers, the sun and the moon
Can’t be together, yet together forever

Does the moon complain when the stars outshine her beauty?
For a dark night needs light
The moon allows the stars to perform their duty

Sometimes there are spaces that cannot be occupied
By more than one or two
Each one must respect and allow the other to do

Once upon a dream

Shabby chic velvet chairs
Dark spiral stairs
Psycadelic dance floor
Booze on the pour

Tall and confident she stands
Short skirt
Tall heels
Short is how I feel
"Let's dance" she commands
No big deal

Sultry black locks caress her breasts
Almond eyes fixed on me, not looking away
Oh her eyes
Anaesthetise... mesmerise
Electric tunes, I'm on the rise

Sticky bodies jive side to side
She pulls my curls, gripping them tight
I gasp as she encircles me, nowhere to hide
Our torsos meet, as we slide

Trickles of sweat brushing bare shoulders
Fumes of perfume lingering closer
I'm meeting her beat
Hands on hips, a rhythmic repeat

She drinks me with her eyes
Undressing me slowly with her smile
We stand like this for a while
She's beautiful
Spectacular

Distracted am I suddenly
A silhouette stands staring
Nonchalantly smooth
A glare so overbearing
He's looking
Absorbing

Envelops me in shudders
A piercing chill
His eyes meet mine
Sending a shiver right down my spine

I know him
A distant memory, now blurred and thin
Who are you?
A soul I once knew

Bright lights and big stage
Distracting me, I can't engage
He's fixed on me, as I on him
A sea of confusion
Up surface and swim

She whispers in my ear
I can barely hear
"He wants ..."
"He wants... "

Awake

Untitled

There are times when someone can be your umbrella
But also your rain
So much pleasure
Yet also pain

There are times when a year is not so far
A week longer than any healing scar
There’s closeness in distance
Come close and there’s no memory or existence

There is a peculiar bliss in letting out some tears
A laugh cannot fully unleash our deepest fears

There are times when you seek strength in others
Doesn’t a temple stand on independent pillars?
A shoulder will shelter you from your demon
Being alone ultimate freedom

There are times when broken pieces can be put together
But they prick your fingers
Their pain forever lingers

Sand is free and easy
Until water marks territory
Caging her
Weighted and uneasy

Do You Have The Balls To Take The Blame?

The media, politics and in business the favourite pass time of most individuals is to find fault in someone or in a situation. All one has to do is turn on the television and in all the reality shows there is a segment where someone is blaming someone else, to find who is at fault. It has been statistically proven that Narcissism has risen by 30% among college students since 1979. It has been observed that levels of self- confidence are on the rise, but this confidence must be linked to honest self-assessment and actual achievement. Can we say that there is a dip in clear-eyed humility and a failure hat keeps us from seeing and correcting our shortcomings. Are we turning into narcissistic individuals and simply blind to the word responsibility, accountability and even our own self-conscience? Could one replace confidence for cockiness?

You know what I actually think? It’s turning into a problem from both ends. Let me give you an example. Jane and Anna are good friends. What Jane and Anna have in common is both belong to a culture where everything is about themselves and their problems and their universe. Jane fails to recognise Anna’s needs on a few occasions and ends up causing pain to Anna, resulting in a bad misunderstanding, fuelled by this need to blame one another. Anna is consumed by her own universe and wishes for attention, she has high expectations from her relationships. Jane is also in her own universe and fails to recognise Anna’s needs and doesn’t pay attention to her friend. Who is wrong? I think both are. I will come back to this narcissistic way of life later. What needs to be addressed is how a problem should ideally be tackled in the first place.

One of the hardest things to do in life is to accept blame for something that has gone wrong. It’s interesting how when we are successful, we are more than happy to be the centre of attention. Yet when a disaster has occurred, we are quick to put the attention on someone or something else. If you actually accepted the problem and took the fault upon yourself, you’d be fixing half the problem right there. There are very few people who can be strong enough to accept blame and take responsibility when something goes south. What is it that makes us shirk from this blame? It can be a combination of your ego and fear. When a child does something wrong, it’s his fear of being told off that usually makes him find an excuse to shy away from his responsibilities. As a grown up, you find your pride can get in the way and a lie could mask the truth and remedy the problem. Both are wrong approaches to dealing with the solution I’m afraid. If you are going to create road- blocks then let’s discuss these now.

Blaming others – As I said earlier, it is far too easy to pinpoint and attack the evil in others than to examine the evil within yourself. It doesn’t matter what has happened or how it has happened, how are your going to tackle the consequences? When you decide to blame someone, are you not giving up complete control of the situation? Yes your ego feels lighter when you can put the blame on someone else, but don’t forget you are still responsible for the occurrences.

Making excuses – Oh I love this one! All my excuses make perfect sense to me, but the only thing that makes sense to both of us is the truth. Basically when you make an excuse, all you are doing is blaming a circumstance and not a person. 

Complaining – What is this constant obsession with taking part in criticism of every little aspect of your life. I am sick, I am tired, I am bored, I am fed up… you are being outright negative and using complaint as a defence mechanism to cover the facts. Man up and face the world, buckle up and show up when you are responsible. It’s so easy to simply say I am going to get an asthma attack if you keep yelling at me. Reframe your thoughts and put some perspective on how the other person is feeling. 

Victim of circumstance – well in this scenario one is simply doing the opposite of taking responsibility. What we are doing is giving up the control on our own lives. Imagine if a multi-million dollar company decided to simply give up and sit back because a few things went wrong. Is your life not even more valuable than these companies?

I’m sure all of you can identify very clearly with some or all of these roadblocks and if you have a clear conscience you will also admit to using them from time to time in order to escape from the blame. 

Taking blame vs. taking responsibility

There is an interesting phenomenon in the use of both these words, depending on how you read or use them can have a different effect on your mind. Taking blame is like giving a sting or pinch to someone else and there is a bitter flavour in the use of this word. Taking responsibility almost implies taking ownership and feeling pride in the matter. It is like having the ability to respond in any given situation. Do you see the difference in the tone? 

Solutions

The first thing to do is accepting responsibility and confess what went wrong. Sometimes you are not completely at fault, but if damage has occurred and you are involved; the responsibility is yours to take. Avoid roadblocks because all they will do is make you skate around the problem and probably make a bigger mountain of everything. Also, the truth comes out eventually, so don’t be fooled by the masks you are attempting to use in order to tranquilise your ego or supress your fear. 

Try to solve the problem, whether it is a company project, a misunderstanding or helping to rekindle a meaningful relationship. Once there is a solution on the way, it is a good time to give your explanation and make the other person understand what your thought process all along. Be humble and don’t forget the fault / blame / responsibility is still on you. Quite often the scars that remain from the disaster are a consequence you have to live with. Make your peace with them and move on.

I would like to add further insight into moving on. I think there are people in your life you will probably hurt a lot, often those you love the most. You don’t mean to hurt them, but the outcome results in pain. If this keeps happening, well perhaps those individuals are meant to remain in your heart but not in your life. Apologising wont make you a smaller person, it will earn you respect and then you can move on. 

I have written this article with more conviction than many of my others, because I truly believe our society has forgotten how to take the reigns on significant problems and they choose the easy way out. We have turned into borderline narcissists because what concerns us more is what others will think of us, our appearance, our food choices, our song selections, our every move during the day. Ring a bell? Social media! The #selfie syndrome resides within all of us and whether you like it or not, we all have a Jane and Anna in us. 

Facebook as the name suggests is the book of your face. A book, which you are constantly trying to filter, look better, enhance, and appear more flattering, and you only want to see the book when your face looks good. If we apply this on a regular basis, you will ultimately forget to address your flaws and leave them in recycling bin. 

Ultimately this way of life catches up with you and truly weighs you down. So, lets all try harder to examine ourselves and detect what effect your actions and thoughts can have on others. Do you have the balls to take the blame now? 

Blur

Some days I hide in my incoherent bubble
I drink my wine
This only adds more trouble

Some days the pieces are in my hand
I throw them far out
To watch them land
They get lost in the sand

Some days I don't want to be found
Solitude bound
Fuzzy figures all around
No sound

Some days I want to cry in my sleep
I want my dreams to hear my weep
Drown those tears
Far and deep

Some days I want to lose all my breaths
Live a thousand deaths
So I can just start fresh
And breathe again

Some days don't come everyday
But when they do
You have to let go
And be true

Some days it's okay to not be okay
Go for your walk
Have that invisible talk
He's always listening

Adieu

He said bye to her

She held onto his last word

Never had those words come on her lips

Like they did today

"I love you" she said

It locked in her a paralyzing sadness 

Bullied

Bullying, it hurts you know
Bullets on your self-esteem
The last one chosen on a team
I cannot even scream

“Brown girl”
Look down, I wish I could reply and hurl
“Your hair smells”
It probably does
I’m not blonde or white
I don’t have a right to be right

Walk into class
Walking on shattered glass
Words of poison spat in my face
I wish I were invisible
And had no trace

The day has only just begun
No, it’s not going to be fun
“Oi Paki”
“Why’s your accent so tacky?”
Bleeding tears from inside
I want to go and hide

I lie in my bed
My veil has been broken
Unmasked the burden
I’ve admitted the unspoken

I don’t want to be here
I don’t want to live in this fear

Bullying, it’s real
You lose the ability to feel
Where ever I go, whatever I say
Who cares anyway?
I have to pretend I’m okay

Not Dead

In the silence I often hear the most important words

They are actually screaming through the pores of quiet

I don’t always need to talk,

My eyes are conversing

If only you looked

I’ve spoken to you a thousand times in my head

Pity you haven’t turned a page and read

I’ve burned on paper

Scribbled over the wounds

Come closer, you’ll smell the fumes

“Show me some emotion”

You’ve forgotten to play our movie in slow motion

I appear handicapped in my coma

Talk to me

Touch me

Let me smell your aroma

I’m wounded

Not dead

I’m here

Not dead

Is Texting A New Language?

Recently I was sent a text message, or rather a proper conversation of almost three paragraphs through a popular IM network. I actually had to stop and think for a whole minute to actually understand what I had been sent. It was not a mistake as the person was someone I know very well. However, the entire conversation had been typed using shortened forms of English words. I am used to receiving the occasional word here and there which I accept in the sentence if it is properly punctuated and doesn't have too many grammatical errors. This was a whole new language all together. I was tempted to write back and say why were they writing to me like a five year old. I refrained from humouring them and after patiently deciphering the conversation, replied.  It made me cringe to see words like thanq and f9. 

It was impressive how they had actually typed up the entire conversation pretty fast and used all the different possibilities that exist for shortened words. Surely this language must have been learnt by them through constant texting over time.

On the one hand I appreciate the short forms that have been created, but I also feel it to be completely unnecessary to do this if we no longer have restrictions with the number of characters that we use in a text. It used to be cost effective when SMS only allowed you a certain number of characters before a new text was charged. This is no longer the case as instant messaging is unlimited and free of cost. 

The importance of self presentation

I feel when we present ourself through an email it is done in a certain manner, especially when done for professional purposes. The same presentation is required via a text message in my opinion. I don't think we need to be as formal, but the basics of proper punctuation, grammar and spelling are paramount through any form of communication. It is argued that texting has always emulated speaking and this is why it is instant. A critic referred to texting as "penmanship for illiterates". I do think this takes it to an extreme but in many ways it replaces a voice in this jungle of technology that we live in. I am extremely pro-digitalisation, but I do think one must adapt to it with the same high standards you would put on yourself if you were going up on stage to give a talk on something important. I can text someone and use a comma when I am pausing in my head. This comma enables the other person to understand me far more clearly than to receive a text without any punctuation. These days, texting has replaced voice even in the professional world and quite often we may decide to send a text message to a fellow colleague or someone you don't know so well, just to avoid that phone call and not feel so bound.  Well imagine if you receive a text message from them and it reads like the conversation I received. I'm pretty sure you will judge that perfect stranger won't you? There is a fine line between using texts as a casual form of on going conversation with a family member or friend, but to use it with such laid back standards to communicate in the non social world can be cause for concern. 

Misinterpretations

There are people who use acronyms in texting and are confident they mean something which clearly they don't. I will give you the classic example of lol. The correct meaning of lol is laugh out loudly. It is widely used to emulate your reaction to something or even to add a lighter tone to something you are trying to say when texting someone. So, in effect lol saves you from sounding too serious on many occasions. This helps to not offend the person on the receiving end. On the other hand I have seen people use lol to abbreviate lots of love. Unfortunately this can have rather disastrous repercussions and contrary to what lol helps remedy, in this case it can offend and sometimes badly confuse the receiving end. Having multiple translations for acronyms like lol is merely one example of misinterpretations.

I will use another example. In many cases our reply to any question can be ok , okay!, k or okaay!! Frequent texters or as I like to call them finger bangers will be familiar with the interpretation of each of these replies. They read exactly the same don't they? Don't be fooled by the tone each one delivers. How on earth is one supposed to interpret the mood of the sender? Texting has opened up a mine field of feelings, emotions and oh lets not forget to mention Emoji. Smiley faces with all possible expressions from happy to sad to laughing to angry to even shocked in ten different forms. As the software updates get better, Emoji also keeps improving. The bottom line is, I believe individuals need to understand the abbreviations if they are going to attempt using them in texting, otherwise all it is doing is ridiculing them.

Is the English language suffering?

There is no official evidence that suggests or implies that texting has impaired a persons writing skills. Both these forms of communication are treated in separate brackets and texting is believed to be merely be a casual form of communication which has replaced voice calls.

Nevertheless, even though texting is under 20 years old and writing was invented over 5,500 years ago, in 2011 8 trillion text messages were sent and 95% of them were by mobile phone owners aged between 18-29 year olds. (onlineschools.com). That's a lot of texting, considering how old the "language" actually is. One merely needs to observe how the Oxford English Dictionary now officially holds a place for LOL, OMG, BFF and TMI. Do you know what all of them stand for? Apparently it is textish!

I do agree that one cannot point a finger and say to a texting person that they have "bad writing". It's like being opinionated and saying thats "bad music". We all have a right to write as we please, but can one accept the replacement of words that date back to over 80,000 years and suddenly spell them in a new light? I certainly cannot!

A study did show that people who are frequently texting, are less likely to accept new words than people who read more traditional media. There is a pressing need to be brief and to abbreviate everything when texting. This throws away any kind of detailed description, complex adjectives and even the use of imagery. I do understand that we do not actually speak the way we would write, but do you think you speak the way you text? Have a look at your texts and try to say them out loud. It would be quite the pantomime let me tell you.

Conclusions on generation text

They are here to stay and won't be leaving anytime soon. In this leap to become digital and adapt to textisms, students really must be monitored carefully at schools and the use of mobile phones must be restricted in classrooms. I fear the loss of vowels, consonants and punctuation marks. I fear their absence in essays and i fear seeing thx and pls. 

On the positive side, I also believe we the generation before gentext are responsible to for teaching them the differences between the English Language and the texting language. I manipulate both on a daily basis and I am well versed with all the ridiculous acronyms that exist out there, including lol (log off loser). It's entertaining and rather clever I believe, but what's even more mind blowing is our English language or any language for that matter.

Therefore, don't allow your 7th and 8th graders to fall in the traps of mixing both and attempting to create a very badly seasoned dish. It's almost as ghastly as mixing words from two different languages and trying to speak something only you understand.

Texting is the today and tomorrow of our communication but language is the mother of all communications.

In this lifetime...

I want to slide into the gaps of your thoughts that sketch vacant glances in your eyes. I want to hide between the tresses of your locks that hum in the wind. I want to whisper in between the spaces that separate your delicate fingers. I want to steal your glances in a crowded room, capture your consciousness and make it mine. I want to be the unuttered coil that binds our silences together. I want to inhale the breaths you take for granted, be that beat your heart skips. I want to be the sea you junction into, I want to be the transparent reason for your smile.

I don’t want your body, I want to nourish your soul. I want to soak in your aura, kiss you invisibly and dance in the sparkle of eyes. I want to stop the hands from moving time so you can be mine in this lifetime.

Time

Time and time again

Slaves we were then

Bound are we now

Ticking on tomorrow

Waiting on the pendulum

Chained by much or little

Rushing forward when young

Wishing to move back in old age

Time seems slow when we are waiting

In mourning

Lamenting

Time races fast when there is fear

When you are here

When death appears near

There’s never enough time

To make time

Yet memories linger

Eternally

Past and present merge

Indefinitely

Time is nothing but a shift

Sets some apart

Adrift

Time is value

Seconds for some

Weeks for an expecting mum

Months of growing up

To finally become

Years of hard work

Never enough for some

Time waits for no one