With a lump in my throat

As the year is coming to an end, I am desperately trying to figure out how to make sense of the senseless country I originate from. I am proud to be an Indian but not one who is from India and has grown up there. I salute my upbringing in Spain, where I have learnt to respect a woman from the minute she helps another woman give birth and plays the role of a mid wife. She is respected when she chooses to look after her parents and gives them priority over her husbands parents. She is respected when she has a right to keep her maiden surname and then pass it on to her children by law. She is respected when addressed as Señora, Señorita or Señora de. She is also respected when she wears a spaghetti strap or needs to wear a burkha at college and her religion is accepted and applauded. She is respected when she gives birth to a third daughter or fourth and with dignity names her after her mother, grandmother or herself. She is respected when she goes through a divorce and is granted automatic custody of her children and compensated by the law. She is also respected when faces domestic violence at home and can pick up the phone and call a free number to report the abuse. She is given a GPS device by the police to carry when faces danger and can be instantly tracked to ensure her safety. I am naming mundane everyday examples which I take for granted in Spain and we are such a small and tiny country compare to Hindustan, mera desh mahaan. It pains me and I feel agony inside my chest when I even think about flying the Indian flag today.

I have not been able to think straight ever since I read about the Delhi gang rape case, but not because it was so brutal, so devastating, so cruel, so monstrous and so disturbing. I have had a lump in my throat because of the way it has been handled. We have all read about the protests that have taken place across the nation, we have all tweeted, facebooked, spread the virals across BBM, WhatsApp and via email too. The media has actively participated in spreading the news across the world, bringing this case to light on the whole planet. But... what has the Indian law done in all this time? The PM, President, CM of Delhi, PC of Delhi and all other powerful politicians, what have they done? I am enraged at the manner in which this whole case has been parceled around by all of them. 

She who will remain anonymous to us by name, fought a battle between life and death from the minute she was attacked on that bus. A bus ride that ultimately took her life and all she ever wanted was to be a doctor and fulfill her dreams. Dreams that were crushed to crumble by six animals, six Indian men who treated her like absolute garbage and threw her out after they were done. Is this what women are in India? Absolute garbage and worthless beings? 

If there is a moment in life to be a proud Indian, well this is certainly not it. I do not want to go back to my country and be on the road worried if I can walk freely without being teased, without being stared at, without being on a public bus in Mumbai at rush hour and being touched, without being approached openly in a book store and asked for my number, without thinking not two but three times if it's alright to wear a sleeveless top and should I carry a shawl, without landing at Mumbai airport and feeling unsafe and volatile because I'm alone and a woman! All these things have happened to me and it gives me goose bumps when I take my memory back to all the examples. 

If 2012 can be called the year of anything, well let it be the one of Indian awakening. Thirteen days is what she suffered to ultimately die and leave us all with bitter sadness and a feeling of helplessness. I ask you if you agree with me, speak your mind and spread your voice.  Every single man in this world has a woman behind his existence. If you have sons, teach them to respect their women. What we are breeding today, will ultimately be our tomorrow.