As
basic moral education our parents always told us to just be nice to others and
not harm anyone. We continue to instill this in our own children. I believe
it’s a simple concept of human behavior that adds only benefits to our lives.
Ever wondered why is it important to be nice to others? I mean obviously it
brings out the better human being in you, the recipient feels good and in the
end both are happy. Sounds pretty simple doesn’t it?
Did
you know that a random act of kindness from you has the power to multiply and
have a ripple effect on many others?
I
will use the example of my 1€ coin. I found a 1€ coin on the road once. I
picked it up and kept it for a suitable purpose. In a few days I was inside a
parking lot and in a queue behind someone who was struggling to find change for
the machine. The credit card option had been disabled and they didn’t have
enough spare change to cover the full charge. I decided to give them my 1€ coin
as I felt this was a suitable moment. He smiled and thanked me, telling me how
I had saved his life. I felt pleased I was able to help someone. Shortly
afterwards I was driving up to the exit of the parking lot and as I approached
the barrier, there was a man standing there who was giving away free 2€
discount vouchers for the parking lot, for the next time we parked there and it
would be discounted off our total. I was pleasantly surprised and accepted the
voucher with a smile on my face. I had no expectations of this reward but it
was a great feeling, albeit so small. Remember there's no such thing as a small
act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end. -- Scott Adams
The
example I gave was just between myself and another individual. However, the
person who received my kindness had a higher probability of performing an act
of kindness, simply because he felt good and wanted to share the same feeling.
Our kids do this everyday and so effortlessly, and this is a reason why they
are happy and do not know the terms jealousy, selfishness and ego.
A
random act of kindness can be very fruitful to our wellbeing. It releases us
from self-obsession and prevents us from entering into isolation. Can you
honestly imagine what a world would be where you simply addressed your own
needs and ignored everyone else? Miserable I would think!
Unfortunately
in the society we live in today, there is a secondary problem, which often
stops us or makes us paranoid to generosity from strangers. We feel doubts,
insecure due to our own insecurities, lack of self-esteem and question the
other person’s intentions. This is very sad, but true. I will give you an
example where my mother once helped a man on the street who claimed he had had
his wallet stolen and had no money to get back home. He was well dressed in a
suit, groomed and even had a mobile phone. His story seemed genuine and mum
decided to give him some money for a cab ride home. He had promised to call her
and return the money the next day, even giving her his own number. We never
heard from him again and the number we called was not real. He had staged the
whole situation and this clearly made us wary of who is true and who is a fraud?
So I do not blame our society for being reluctant when accepting or giving help
to strangers.
Nevertheless,
there are plenty of selfless acts which one can perform everyday and believe me
these have a domino effect, whereby your one act has sown a seed to encourage
others to do the same and this is what is called a rippling effect.
Coming
back to questioning the random act of kindness, let’s rephrase the whole
concept and try to make it sound more appealing to the receiving end. The word random can create distrust and a sense
of wariness because if you have pride/ ego this can hinder you from accepting
the kindness and oblige you to even think how would you return the favour.
Please note in random kindness there is no return involved, but one can try to
understand why it is normal to want to return the kindness to the same person.
Instead
of using random, let’s use spontaneous. The word spontaneous gives
a feel of “in the moment”, “impulsive” and simply sounds like an act where you
would NOT expect anything in return. See
the difference?
Now
if we take this phrase a notch further and add some appeal to it, making it
stand out even more. When you meet a person who is just really nice to you for
no apparent reason, well it makes you feel good right? How about feeling good
and having fun with this act? So e.g. they not only help you but at the same
time have the ability to make you happy in your heart too. Lets call the notion
spontaneous kindness is sexy. It’s a
game of word swapping but suddenly the basic concept of being nice has been changed to spontaneous
kindness is sexy and appears so appealing and fashionable.
In
the book To Kill a Mocking Bird there are infinite examples of spontaneous
kindness. E.g. when Boo gives Scout a blanket during the fire at Miss Maudie’s
house. When Boo fixes Jem’s pants and hangs them on the fence for Jem. A fine
character Boo is, he makes fine gestures of affection towards the children but never appears in person in front of them. A perfect example of kindness without expectation. You have not lived today until you
have done something for someone who can never repay you. John Bunyan
The
benefits of doing something nice are another big reason why we must practice
these acts of kindness. It is good for your health because you are happier, you
actually feel more confident and free from insecurities because you want to
give happiness to others and are not concerned about getting it in return,
hence are at peace with your own self. You will be free from this being called
ego and actually be yourself.
There is a
movement called Pay It Forward. This basically means you do something nice and
the person who receives the act of kindness carries it forward and pays it on to the next person. The idea is it carries on and the Pay It Forward (PIF) movement
becomes a way of life. A good reason to use this philosophy in life is also because often if someone is kind to us, we are not able to repay that kindness back to the same person so instead we must simply pay it forward. There are limitless examples of these types of acts.
http://www.pifexperience.org/88-ways-to-make-a-stranger-smile/
We have seen such examples of PIF for a long time and one interesting one which I like to refer to is from a Marvel comic "What Price a Life"(1980) - This was a team-up between Spider-Man and The Incredible Hulk, in which Spider-Man helps the Hulk escape from police who mistakenly thought that he was attacking them. Afterwards, they meet in their secret identities, with Peter Parker warning Bruce Banner to leave town because of the Hulk’s seeming attack on police. But Banner is flat broke, and cannot afford even bus fare. So, Parker gives Banner his last $5 bill, saying that someone had given him money when he was down on his luck, and this was how he was repaying that debt. Later, in Chicago, the Hulk confronts muggers who’d just robbed an elderly retired man of his pension money, all the money he had. After corralling the muggers, the Hulk turns towards the victim. The retiree thinks that the Hulk is about to attack him as well, but instead, the Hulk gives him the $5 bill. Turns out that the old man was the same person who’d earlier given a down-on-his-luck Peter Parker a $5 bill. -Wikipedia
Just remember it is absolutely free of
cost to be nice to someone, never goes out of fashion and if you spontaneously
make someone smile, well this is the most
potent, unconditional act of generosity you can offer. So go out there are offer your seat to someone
if there are none free, offer to take a pic of a couple who are trying to take
it themselves and so on and so on.
The PIF experience is unique, so let’s all
be spontaneously sexy by being kind!
It’s shivering upon our lips
